Blind
by PissyNovelist
Summary: In a moment of Will Graham's need, his friend Celest Falton agrees to help him out. But when the favor is to go on a double date with a man she doesn't even know (other than as Will's psychiatrist), she isn't too happy about it and refuses to like it. Celest never could have guessed that resisting Doctor Hannibal Lecter's charm would lead to two resilient men. HannibalxOC
1. Blind Date

**If you can't tell by my fanfiction list, I'm a huge fan of the Lecter series already! But holy dicks when I saw this show I died. Hugh is perfect, Mads is so damn perfect and do damn attractive for his own good, everyone is perfect and I need to write an OC for this damn show. I'm worried people will peg her as a Sue (because whenever I write any OC, they are pegged as such -.-) But I think this idea of polar opposites is interesting… c: so stick around awhile?**

"Will… I don't know. I love you and all…" I set my coffee down just to watch a very sad Will Graham morph in front of me. He rests his hands upon my counter, looking down into the white surface for answers. Oh fuck… here it comes; _The Graham Guilt Trip_.

"Celest, you promised me I could come to you and ask any favor-" Oh no… he wants to reason with me. I'm mesmerized by his square hands starting to move in the air to gently elaborate his point. A very Will tactic if I may add.

"That didn't involve anything illegal." I raise a poised finger.

"That didn't involve anything illegal and you would, without a doubt, say yes. This is something I've been waiting for since I met Alana and now she's said yes with these specific conditions and I only have you and him in my life that would even be willing to consider taking this chance for me. He already said yes and now we're all just waiting on you because Alana said that if it's just us, it'll get exceptionally awkward exceptionally fast. You and him are the only people that we both know which would put her at the maximum level of ease-" I place a hand on his shoulder, watching his face slowly turn blue as he spoke without a single breath.

"I know I said I would, but this is a lot to swallow. You set me up on a double blind date without my permission. This is not you, you don't behave this way. You know how to put yourself in other people's positions, why didn't you think about me before you did all this?" I lean over my counter, eyeing him up.

"I don't know, when it comes to her, my brain can't function. When it comes to Alana, by brain almost functions as if I'm a normal man." His face is strikingly serious; eyes glossed over, lips in a firm line. He's always known what to say to pull at my heart; why was I the child that had to be so romantic on the inside?

"Will, you sprung this on me last minute. If I say yes, as of right now, I'd have like… a fuckin' hour. You're going to this super fancy restaurant, which is a bad first double date choice, and I don't have anything nice to wear. I think I have a really short black skimpy dress with a questionable stain on the inside by my legs," he rolls his eyes at that ", and I don't even know this guy. I know he's around forty… uh, and your friend slash psychiatrist. Which I don't know how that works, those titles don't go hand in hand." I regret the final comment. Sometimes I forget that Will isn't the most popular kid in school.

"Sorry." I mumble and I get a shrug.

"I know, but it's just a favor? For four or five outings? He's a gentleman, from what I can properly assume. He seems like the kind of man that would pull out your chair, get you flowers, all of that stuff you like." A rare smile flooded his face in an instant, as if to make me believe all of this spouting, babbling bullshit.

"Seems too damn stuffy if you ask me. Would he get all pissy if I decided to swear, or uncross my legs? Can Alana and I make those dirty jokes like we used to?" I lodge my hands on my hips. Will purses his lips in thought; probably thinking about the jokes we used to laugh at when we all went drinking, once upon a time.

"He probably wouldn't like that… but he likes books! I know you like books. He has a huge library in his office in this studio set-up. Mahogany book shelves, lovely old school ladders that slide."

"In his office," he nods happily ", where I'll eventually be going if you put me through this experience?" I smile, and I know by his returned grin, that he knows I'm losing this battle.

"Please, give him a try. If anything, do it for the gargantuan favor I will most definitely owe you in the near future." Will jogs his way around the counter, taking my hands into his own.

"Okay. For the favor," I grin at him, patting his shoulder ", what's his name?" I ask, walking up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Doctor Hannibal Lecter." I hear him call.

"Doctor Lecter." I mumble to myself with a chuckle. It has quite a ring to it, gotta admit.

I slap some makeup on, foundation, white eye shadow, mascara, eyeliner; good enough! I get up close to the mirror. My pale face and green eyes are actually being framed by my makeup work! Of course I can't manage that on dates I actually want to go on, but hey. Bonus for the Doctor! I work myself into the dress; black, thick strapped, and hits mid-thigh. It's tight against my awkward frame and I question taking it off. But I swallow my self-hate and pity for tonight. I slip on my neglected heels and tug my phone into my clutch, then I'm down the stairs.

"I washed the pen's ink from my hands, I'm wearing underwear that's super comfortable, my favorite bra is doing its job, and I even shaved. Don't say I didn't try." I can't help but laugh at Will amused face.

We walk out together to the car. I get in the back, so Alana can get beside Will. I hear him going on about how my date will meet us there and all that, but my mind is disconnected. I'm watching the trees as we pass by, the vibrant green blotted out by the burnt sienna sunset. That's the only good thing about the winter; the beautiful early sunsets. Before I can even think a full thought, the car halts. We're here, I suppose. I step out, apologizing to Alana for not saying hello when she got in.

"I understand, you've always been a little far away," Her smile is comforting to see ", you always are when you get anxious. Don't get anxious about Hannibal, I know you'll think he's absolutely wonderful and vice versa." She takes Will's arm and turns from me. This whole situation makes me want to run. I want to be at home, watching television and smoking cigarettes. Maybe a beer or two, if the night permits. This restaurant, with white and red candles in the windows, really doesn't scream my name.

"He's here." I hear Alana snort, pointing to a pristine white car. It doesn't look bad. At least the boy knows how to take care of his toys. I follow like a lamb to slaughter, taking each turn without question. I nearly bump into their backs when I hear Will speak.

"Oh, and Hannibal, this is my friend Celest Falton." Will grins, clearly happy I chose to come.

Doctor Lecter curves the corners of his lips at me… I wish I could call it a smirk, but it's far from it. His jaw is defined, as are his cheekbones. His bangs… _can you call those bangs_… were slicked and tucked behind his ear, yet loose enough to fall partially as he leaned down to shake my hand. My eyes travel down; perfectly tailored black suit, black tie, light blue button up… _so damn stuffy_. Definitely not good enough for the boys we dig. I take it kindly, giving a cold smirk of my own.

"Doctor Lecter," I nod curtly and formally ", I've heard wonderful things about you."

"Not to many things, I hope." He tilts his head gently, a real smirk upon his lips now. Does this guy have an inside joke with himself or something? The fuck?

"No, not at all!" I laugh and grin, looking to Will out of the corner of my eye. Holy shit, he's beaming. I suddenly feel elated. _As long as Will's happy_, I remind myself. It's all for Will.

"Let's sit, yes?" Doctor Lecter asks, his voice laced with an accent I can't quite place. It would almost be handsome if I wasn't forced to be in this situation because of the Graham Guilt Trip. I pick the seat by the wall, but as I go to step around the Doctor, he steps back and pulls out my chair. I'm confused. Who does that anymore? Will wasn't fucking wrong, was he?

"Have I offended you? My apologies, Miss Falton." He seems just as confused as me, tilting his head and standing.

"Just Celest, please. Oh, and no… uh, no definitely not, thank you very much. Just never had someone do that to me before." I mumble, taking my seat. The Doctor sits across from me, a neutral expression on him.

"Then you, my dear, are missing out."

Well shit… this is going to be one long fucking date.

**I don't really like this but I worked on it for days and I just want to get it out there. If you guys like it, I'll write more. If you don't, I'll write more anyway because I HAVE PLANS FOR THESE TWO.**

**xoxoPN**


	2. Introduction to the Doctor

**This is actually really hard because I don't know how Hannibal would behave on this date…**

After we ordered, it took a matter of moments for dinner chat to turn to work chat. The air around me is full of murder talk; and while I don't give a shit about gore and horror? Someone playing a human being like a violin isn't necessarily a wanted mental image. So I let my mind wander far about, thinking about how comfortable my bed would be right now. How my television would bring me comfort and a book would bring me happiness. I tickle burns the top of my hand and I recoil with a gasp.

I'm greeted with a grinning Doctor.

"Wha?" I fall eye to eye with him, his face turning sour. Was it my expression? Oh that's right, he doesn't like improper.

"I said we didn't mean to go into work talk." His eyebrows move with his smooth and cultured voice, fluently and almost expected of him. I shake my head slightly, turning around to see Alana and Will on the hardwood dance floor. When did they go there? How long have him and I been alone? Has he been staring?

"Oh, it's okay," I shake off all my questions, the less creepy I find him, the better ", I figured it would go that way, everyone working together and all." I shrug, taking a sip of water that must've appeared when I zoned out. Convenient, my throat was running painfully dry.

"Except you," his head cocks ", so while our friends are dancing, let's get to know each other. What do you do for a living?" His smirk is charming, I can't even deny it.

"I teach dance at my friends studio, for the most part. The others I do art; painting, writing, charcoal sketches. I do what I love." I smile a costmary smile, staring beyond him into the window where a beautiful argument of numerous flowers sat. God damn, why does everything have to be so damn fancy?

"I enjoy this place a lot. It's formal yet intimate. However, Will wanted to make the date at my place. He has admitted that my dinners are more like performances and works of art." His voice is so matter of fact. Is he bragging? I wish he was bragging. If he was an asshole, this night could be lots of fun. But I'm pretty sure he's just stating a fact.

"Will's told me," actually, he hasn't ", and Alana won't stop bragging about delicious food. I'm jealous of their pallets." Ah shit, now will he invite me over? I really don't want to deal with that. But he doesn't seem to be pressing the matter. I stare off into the dancing crowd, hoping he'll get the hint that I don't really want to talk anymore.

"You wore quite the dress for the season."

"Yeah, it's the only thing nice I had that was clean. Coulda wore sweats, but I figured casual wasn't your deal, from what Will told me. And from what I see? Glad I went with the dress route." I shrug.

"What makes you say that?" His voice is sharp, yet light. It wasn't a request, but a demand. He was challenging me to physically analyze him. Alright, let's do it.

"You're black suit, light blue shirt, and black tie. It may be a style choice, seeing as black can't really look bad, but I think it goes with your personality of formality. You have a… uh, double Winston knot? It's an exceptionally formal tie. I only see that tight of a knot on executive business men. Your cuffs are essentially the same length on your arms no matter how you move them, which is honestly really off putting-"

"You've been watching my arms that closely? Your attentive nature is desirable, Celest." He smirks, head tilted. This guy has quite the tick. Maybe I should start a tally of all the head tilts.

"Don't interrupt me or flirtatiously try to change the subject, I'm not done. Now," His smirk remains; he's amused with me ", you've double knotted your shoes, and your socks match your shirt." I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms in a fit of triumph. No one, over any means, challenges me without losing… whatever there is to lose.

"Very attentive, Celest. I've been paying some close attention of my own to you and I must say… you have goose bumps. That dress must be too cold for comfort. Despite whatever you're about to say, take this." He stands, quite abrasively, pealing the jacket off his arms and placing it over my shoulders. I honestly don't get this guy. One moment, he challenges me as dominant, and then he performs a submissive act. What's he playing at?

"Uh, thanks." I stumble, as sincere as I can manage. My mind is churning with all the information I ever learned in the two years of psychology I took in high school, trying to get a grip on this guy.

"You're quite welcome." Him and the last words, fuckin' hell.

We fall into a happy silence, giving me time to turn around and watch Alana and Will. They look so cute together, whispering and laughing about something or maybe nothing. His hands are shaking against her hip and her arms are rigid around his neck. But I know they're both happy to be here, so I smile and let myself feel warm at the knowledge I'm doing a favor for a friend.

"So," _why can't you just give me a moment?_ ", has Will told you the plan for tonight?"

"No." I look back for a moment."

"Oh. Well, Will is driving Alana home and I'll be driving you home. I was under the impression he told you." I look back to him with a furrowed brow. I want to refute, but some things just aren't worth it. Him and I both know that we aren't sleeping together. Before I can confirm, Alana, a red-faced Will, and our food arrive.

The rest of the night goes pleasant. No more talk of murderers or alone time with Doctor Weirdo over here. Maybe I got a funny look when they saw his jacket over my body, but who the fuck cares, I'm damn cold. The Doctor comments on his misery over not being able to drink the wine here, for he has to drive and I guess that reminds Will to tell me of the plan. I laughed and gave him a thumbs-up. As I go to grab my bill, a large hand reaches over and snatches it.

"Give me the pleasure of paying for you?" The Doctor asked, not blinking and on the edge. Hell, why the fuck not.

"Oh, if you insist." I smirk, giving him a nod of thanks which he seems to recognize. We walk out and say our goodbyes, walking to the cars in the moonlit winter night. I slide my arms in Doctor Lecter's jacket, pulling it tighter around me. As I expected, he opens my door and shuts it with such finesse. I pull my phone from my clutch, ignoring the pain in my feet from these damn shoes. The Doctor gets in beside me, the car revving to life.

"And where am I taking you tonight?"

"Thirteen Sixth Street, off Devoff Avenue." I speak without raising an eye from my phone. Nothing but a few emails from potential dance students. I laugh to myself, wondering why I was expecting more. I never leave the damn house, let alone give anyone my cell number.

"Your perfume smells divine. It's an odd juvenile brand, but it suits you. Not because you are odd or juvenile, but the scent of sweet flowers and sugar. It's intoxicating, to say the least." His voice rings as I put my phone away. I look to him with a smile. Just because I'm not really interested in him doesn't mean a compliment isn't nice. I open my mouth, ready and willing to give a thank you in return for the compliment, something I rarely get.

But I think back to earlier this evening… did I even put on perfume? I know the one he's talking about, it's my favorite perfume and I did wear it this week… No, I don't remember that, do I? I lower my head casually, smelling the tops of my breasts where I often dab a light bit of perfume but I smell nothing. When did I last wear perfume? Not yesterday, I was in the studio all day and I have seven kids that are allergic spread across five different classes. The day before I didn't leave the house, I didn't even shower or change out of my shorts and muscle shirt. When was it? The day before that, I went out to coffee with colleague of mine. Three days ago is when I last wore perfume.

"Uhm, I'm not wearing any." I laugh, trying to play it off, but I'm fucking freaked out and he can probably tell.

"I never said you were wearing it today." His voice is light with something. Is he playing something off or just showing off? I just shake it off, the best I can, trying to get through the next five minutes of this ride.

"I hope I wasn't too bad of a date tonight." Doctor Lecter breaks the silence, looking between me and the road.

"Oh, no it wasn't bad at all!" I chuckle, still freaked out from his earlier comment.

"Good, because I heard Will and Alana whisper they want to do this again tomorrow. I can convince him to do it in a more casual setting. I could tell you were quite uncomfortable. I saw you straining to read the French upon the menu." Did he just call me stupid or what? And when did he hear Will and Alana say that? I was at the same restaurant, right?

"A more casual setting? Like a bar?"

"Yes, a bar. You'd like that?" He asks way too many questions for my own good. My stomach has been churning since dinner, but now it's on a spin cycle. I want to dive out of this car straight into traffic.

"Yeah, sounds good." I muster as he pulls up into my driveway. Thank fucking god, I want out. I unclasp my seatbelt and pull my clutch tight. I feel the car rock and my door is opened for me by the Doctor. How does he do that? He's as tall and built as a stack house, how does he move so silently?

"Thank you, Doctor." I nod to him, and before he can do something else gentlemanly like kiss my hand or cheek, I walk into my house and lock the door damn tight. With a cigarette now poised between my teeth, I walk to the smoking area in my garage and sit. And I have to deal with his shit for another four outings or so.

**I hope this writing will get easier as I introduce all the shit wrong with Celest. As I was writing this, all of these issues I know she has just popped out.**

**xoxoPN**


	3. Pink Wine and Tea Cups

**Alrighty, let's get going!**

Oh god damn it, I feel asleep on the damn couch. My shirt's all rode up and my pants are low on my hips… this isn't comfortable worth shit. Oh _shit_… what time is it? Do I teach dance today? No… no dance today. The sun is coming in from beyond my eyelids, I can hear birds and trees rustling. Gotta be before noon… well fuck. I move my arm from under the blanket, grabbing my phone off the table. Did I hear it buzz a few hours ago? God damn, too many questions, too damn early. Well what do you know, I did have a text.

'_Sending you a good surprise this morning, better be awake by ten. See you tonight at Shades Bar.'_

Shit, he even texts formally and I love it. I can hear his voice echo in the back of my mind, each gentle caress of the consonants and vowels. I wonder about the surprise… what surprise? Up by ten? It's nine fifty-five now. Hm, okay then.

As I set my phone upon my coffee table, I see the Doctor's jacket out of the corner of my eye. Shit, I must've run away from him so fast, I forgot to give it back. Whatever, I'll bring it tonight. I stand and stretch; damn does that ever feel good. My back cracks and I pull my muscle shirt down, tossing on a bra left on the floor, and then fix my shirt. My stomach and hips show, my shirt riding high and sweatpants riding low. Fuck, I didn't drink enough last night to feel good this morning. As I reach for some cereal, a rapid knock rings through my home.

I sigh, walking to my door with heavy feet. I fling the door open, the chilly winter air coating my body. My eyes adjust to the light, a tall form appearing in front of me.

"I hope I'm not interrupting, Celest." Holy shit, this fucking Doctor doesn't know when to quit.

"Not at all, Doctor. Are you my morning surprise?" I ask, jutting out a hip. He seems to look me over, not in a perverted way, but like studying a creature of habit.

"Please, Hannibal. Is that what Will called this, a surprise? I hope you find me pleasant enough to earn such a title." He smirks, holding a bag up to me. The fuck is this? It smells good…

"A peace offering," he starts ", you seemed uncomfortable last night. Was it the observation of your perfume? I've always had an extraordinary nose. I could tell my teacher had stomach cancer before any diagnosis." Stomach cancer? This guy's a fucking machine. But where did he get the sense of smell anyway?

"Really? That's different," I drag the word out, unable to react with any sort of positive or negative connotation ", what's the offering?" I point with a grin. The scent of deliciousness is wafting towards me and my stomach growls. I feel so hungry, my tummy void of food, that it hurts. I know that the only way to vanquish my hunger; whatever is giving off that scent.

"Breakfast."

"You may enter my humble abode." Creep or not, this food smells absolutely delectable and I'm not letting him go without trying it. He laughs at my comment, walking beyond me and slipping his shoes off. I lead him to my kitchen table, grabbing forks and plates.

"Nothing extravagant; a simple scrambled eggs and sausage dish. But after last night, I thought giving you a taste of my food may warm you up to me." He seems sincere, so I give him a nod.

"Yeah, sorry about last night. If I came off as rude or a fucking asshole, I didn't mean it. I was just cornered into that situation with short notice and-"

"No, you were not rude. I would have spoken up if I found you rude. I actually sought you to be quite kind and receptive to courtesy. For being in a situation where you were forced, you took it in stride. I value that, Celest. However, women shouldn't use such foul language." He looks me dead in the eyes, truth lacing his words. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is shock or flattery. I can honestly say I've never had someone compliment me like that before… and then insult me? _I'll use whatever damn language I fucking please._

"I tried to be. I just hope you don't think I'm repulsed by you."

"I never had the impression that you were repulsed. But you were scared of my ability to smell?" He watches my face; I know this is not a real question. It's an observation, he's asking out of obligation.

"It was abrasive. I hadn't worn perfume in three days since you took notice… four now." I speak the truth; I feel like he can smell a lie.

"I apologize. It was meant to spike intrigue, not fear." His voice is gentle and sweet, I find myself sinking in his cultured voice. He knows when to turn it up, doesn't he?

I sit, crossing my legs and pointing to the place across from me. He sits with a smirk, dishing out the food with such grace. I pick up my fork, stabbing a piece of perfectly cooked sausage and egg. I take a final smell of the wonderful food, popping it into my mouth.

So simplistic; eggs and sausage but it's an explosion of flavor.

"I taste fresh chives and parsley in the eggs. In the sausage, a basic spice rub and… what else?" I tap the fork against my lips, unable to place the taste. It's unique, but the most delicious piece of meat I've ever eaten.

"A chef must have secrets," he winks, a smile smearing upon my lips ", and I'm glad you've decided to eat with me. Will had told me breakfast isn't your favorite meal. Seeing as Will and Alana's date is at a bar tonight, you'll need the sustenance."

"Yeah, sometimes breakfast makes me feel sick. But this is light enough to be just right… and it smelt so good I just couldn't turn you away." We eat in gentle silence; with the scent situation cleared up, I feel much more comfortable with Doctor Lecter… uh, Hannibal now.

I glance at him while he looks at his plate. Now that we're away from the dimmed lights of that stuffy restaurant, I can observe him. I want to keep thinking he's stuffy and up tight, but he's lacking a tie and handkerchief, the top buttons of his shirt undone. His cheeks bones are high and his hair looser than last night, falling into his eyes as he looks down. He's damn near handsome, if I do say so myself. Not like I'd ever tell anyone… but I'll admire from afar.

"You're not very sly." His voice divulges into a deep chuckle.

"Fly on the wall behind you." I grumble, taking another mouthful of food.

"I haven't heard a fly."

"Well, it's there."

He swallows, raising his eyes to me. Hannibal is smirking, fork in mid-motion of spearing some sausage. He's amused by me and he knows I was watching him. I try to push the flush away from my cheeks. So what; he knows I was watching but he doesn't know what I was thinking. Plus, the fact that he knows I was watching makes him seem creepy again. So game, set, match, motherfucker. I lower my head to eat and I notice _him_ watching. Not me, but the surroundings, spotting a book on the other end of my table.

"Les Miserables?" He asks, head turning to get a good view of the front.

"Yeah, I read it once when I was thirteen but I didn't quite get all of it. Figured I'd take another crack at it fourteen years later." I bite my cheek; admitting your age is no-no rule number one. It doesn't seem to bother him, or maybe his didn't catch it, because his keeps staring at the book.

"Thirteen and you managed to read all of it? You must have a wonderful literary capability, I'd like to see your bookshelves. Are you a fan of the musical?"

"Yes! I adore it. I've seen it three times on stage and I'd see it again in a second. I simply adore it, can't get enough. God, the theater is just wonderful. Les Miserables is just one of the many musicals I've seen. I've been to Phantom of the Opera, Oliver Twist, Wicked, Lion King. No one could tear me away from the theater if they tried." I become passionate, setting my fork down as I speak. It makes him smile; more amused with me.

"Yes it is. I often attend the theater myself, usually alone so I can appreciate the music more so than with a friend or date. But if I find myself in possession of a second ticket, I'll be sure to ask you." Hannibal says, most simplistically and dully. Was I just, in avertedly, asked on a date? Or got asked on a date; put on hold? Or is this as a friend? Should I ask… or clarify?

"I'm down with that," I cough, finding a change of subject ", oh, pardon me. You've been here all this time and I haven't offered you a drink. Would you like something?"_ Please say wine, please say wine, please say some ten thirty am wine. _

"I brought a light pink Rose De'franc breakfast wine."

"There's breakfast wine?" He laughs at me as I lean forward, face plagued with shock and awe.

"Yes, Celest. Wine glasses seem so formal," he scratches his chin ", do you have tea cups?" Tea cups? Yes, quite a casual Hannibal indeed; not the same man from last night. His finger taps against the table, waiting for my answer.

I nod, retrieving the whitest, cutest tea cups from my cupboard. I set them down, taking the final bite of my food. This is delicious, I'm glad I let him in, even more so as I watch him pour. We clink cups and I sip, my pallet cleansed by a fruity wine. Another silence washes over the room; we drink our wine and exchange glances of something unspoken. I finish my wine and he automatically pours me another cup.

Yes… this may just be a lovely friendship.

**Obviously, I own nothing mentioned in here except Celest. And I made up that wine. But I could deal with a light fruity wine.**

**xoxoPN**


	4. Outside Influence

**I haven't updated in a while because I've been busy graduating ;D**

"Thank you, Hannibal," I bid him farewell as I user him out the door ", I appreciated breakfast. It was delicious."

"It was my pleasure, Celest. Thank you for washing my dishes. Often people leave me the dirty work. I'll see you tonight at the bar, I suppose. Will you need a drive down?" He's standing awfully close to me, just inside the doorframe, winter wind bustling in while he acted as a human shield.

"No, I'm just going to walk."

"Really, it's of no inconvenience to me. I've planned not to drink tonight just to drive everyone home."

"No, seriously, it's just a few blocks down, I can walk just fine." I tried to step forward to usher him form my home, but he laid a hand on my shoulders ever so lightly, to test my waters I'm sure.

"These streets grow dangerous at night. There have been over three accounts of assault on the street between here and the bar, according to the papers. Let me drive you, for my own piece of mind." He poses what should be a question as a statement, removing his hand after I shiver it away.

"Sure. Thank you for instilling fear in my heart to coerce me." I give a joking smile, Hannibal smirking back at me.

"Thank you, Celest. I'll pick you up at seven tonight." He left promptly, no goodbye or anything. Hm.

I walk to my kitchen, lifting the phone form the table and dialing furiously.

"_Will Graham_."

"The fuck you tryin' to do?" I spit, putting the call on speaker and laying my phone on the counter.

"_I guess Hannibal came over?"_ He laughs and I hear him sit down.

"Yes. We had breakfast. Scrambled eggs and sausage-"

"_It's one fine scrambled eggs and sausage. He's cooked it for me before, it's awesome_."

"Shut up, I ain't done. We ate breakfast and drank a light pink wine or something out of tea cups. _Tea cups_, Will."

"_What about the tea cups_?" His voice is apprehensive.

"It was adorable. So again I ask you, what are you trying to do?"

"_I'm not trying anything Celest, I'm simply making the next few double dates comfortable for everyone involved_."

"I know exactly what you're doing! You're trying to get me to like him romantically. Guess what, not happening." I yell into the phone, fingers gripping the counter.

"_Isn't that the same as making it comfortable," he snorts and I feel about ready to burst ", and why won't it? He likes you in a little more than friendly way_."

"Bullshit, Will. And another thing-"

"_No 'Lest," he coos… ah shit, the nickname ", he really does think you're beautiful. He thinks you're kind and intelligent. Indulge him_."

"Another thing for you, right?"

"_No, Celest. Do this for _you_."_

"I don't need to do this for me. So I will do no such fucking thing! I will not play cutie face with a man I find to be downright repulsive and creepy as shit. I will not sit here and pretend to give a shit about his tidily ass feelings."

"_You said he was adorable earlier_." I could practically hear his smile… and he was right.

"We drank wine out of tea cups, Will! Tea cups!" I whined, dragging out my last two words, wanting to fall to my knees in anguish.

"_And you found that adorable. Now here's what I think…_"

"Will, you promised you'd never get inside my head unless it was an emergency. Don't even think about it."

"_This _is_ an emergency. Celest, I think you fear change. You've been alone for a very long time, you never had a dad and never had a boyfriend who wasn't a terrible person, and you fear repeating the pattern of poor men. You fear that actually enjoying Hannibal romantically will lead to unresolved issues that root to your father due to what you think is a staggering age gap, however this is not the case_."

"Will, please don't-"

"_You're too smart to let another man intrude on your happiness. That loneliness paired with your third wave feminist ways lead you to believe that perhaps you're just too good or not good enough for a stable relationship anymore. You have sex with different partners of both genders night after night, and while I love your sexual freedom and fight against social norms you think are bogus, you're simply denying this possible relationship because you can. You called an esteemed man within the psychology field adorable, you did this because you _like_ him. Just do something for yourself during this double date that started being about me. Just let yourself admit you like him and let him like you. See you in a few hours_."

Will didn't even say goodbye, he simply hung up the phone and left me in tears. Why did he always have to be so right? Why didn't he lie to me more often, so maybe I could forget that he said Hannibal enjoys me in a romantic sense… forty year old man with a_ crush_. It sounds pathetic… and alluring, I suppose. Has he said these things or is Will just inside Hannibal's head with some educated inference? Why are there so many questions? I need to take Will's advice… letting it happen might be the best way to go. If I let loose, I can stop asking questions and confusing myself. I take a deep breath as I maneuver through my house, a deep breath filling my lungs as I fall to my couch.

Just let it happen. No biggie, right? Yet as the night approaches, and I stand in front of my mirror to get ready, I find myself anxious. This is the only time I've ever wanted to skip out on a bar trip. I rub concealer onto my face, patting a flower finish over it. _Admit you like him_… Will's voice echoes through my mind like a broken record. _Admit you like him, let him like you_. I rub red lipstick onto my full lips, removing the access. I stare at my reflection and I know she has answers for me.

"I can admit he's intelligent and I like that," I start slow with myself, leaning close to the mirror as I put some eyeliner on ", he's also very charming." I sigh, mascara and fake lashes framing my eyes.

"He looks very fine in a suit. His face is appealing. He is very kind." That's all I have time to admit as I leave my hair half messy and curly be. I slip on a black muscle shirt and pull on my skinny jeans. I stare at the mirror again, and for the first time in sixteen years, I feel self-conscious of how I look. I mean, I look like a fourteen year old trying a little too hard to be a punk kid. I'm struck with an epiphany, pulling my black blazer with the golden buttons off a hanger and slipped it over. Fourteen to twenty seven in an instant, voila, thanks for watching the party trick. To finish it off, I slip on some weather appropriate heels.

Before I make it out the door, I stop, eyes fixated on my form. I've spent the majority of the past two hours staring into a mirror to make sure I look okay for someone other than myself. There are so many things wrong with this picture, I find myself wanting to vomit. I fixate my eyes on the door, hand on the knob, speaking softly to myself.

"My physical appearance does not, and will never, define me as a human being. Stop changing to accommodate what you think this man wants."

With that, I fling open the door and walk to Hannibal's car.

**Let's just pretend, in this world, super bad things never happen to Will and he always gets help for serious stuff. Okay?**

**xoxoPN**


	5. Without Permission

**I'm excited about this chapter c: So, in this chapter, Celest is known to use some language that may be offensive to the female gender. (is; cunt). I use this word, not because I would use this word against anyone, but because Celest would. SO don't freak out, call me a bigot or this or that. It's just Celest, it's her who does this.**

Lecter was super casual tonight. I can't tell if he was wearing black slacks or those jeans that look good on basically every man ever. Nah… like he'd ever wear jeans. His white button up is tucked into his pants and it ruffles lightly as he looks to me. The contours of his face seem to flirt with the street lamp light… shit, it's like art.

"I'm glad you choose to ride with me. I saw a few shady characters on my way here." He smiles, backing up into my driveway, then out onto the road.

"Yeah, they come around," I shrug ", I can handle them."

"And you forgot a jacket." He scolds, giving me a sideways glance.

"So did you." I taunt, pointing at his bare forearms.

"Well," he chuckles ", mine is in the back seat. I got too hot with the heat on. If you get coled, you may use it.

The ride is relaxed and loose, not like the last time we were in a car alone together. I feel like I'm able to breathe and able to look at him without feeling freaked out. The bar isn't far and I find myself jumping out of his car sooner than expected. We walk into the bar, being waved down by Alana and Will. I give them a goofy grin, quickly half skipping over to eye up what they're drinking.

"Punctual, as always, Hannibal." Alana smiles, lifting her half empty glass of beer to her lips. I look to Hannibal, whose face is smeared with a half joking smugness.

"I can't believe you're not late. You're always late." Will looks to me with a gentle grin. I stick my tongue out, taking a seat as Hannibal touches my shoulder.

"Should I get you a drink while I'm at the bar?"

"Sure," I think for a moment ", grab me a Shirley Temple please." He gives me a nod, heading off.

"How was breakfast?" Alana leans over, a smile plastered to her face. Oh no… is she involved with Will's little scheme too? I swear to sweet god if…

"They drank pink wine out of tea cups while she lounged around in sweatpants that were low on her hips and a shirt to high on her stomach." Will smirks, laughing at Alana's wide open mouth.

"How'd you know about the-" I get cut off.

"Hannibal told me," Will interrupts me with an arrogant grin ", but don't worry, he said you looked enchanting anyways."

"Tea cups? That's almost adorable as Winston begging for treats." She coos, smacking my arm lightly. Is she already fucking drunk or something? How many beers have I missed? How early did they get there?

"It was fine, it was just fine," I lift my hands in protest, seeing Will eye me. His words ring through my mind once more ", it was better than fine. He was a gentleman and I found it slightly alluring." I give into Will which leaves a smile on my face. Alana gave a single clap, patting me on the shoulder.

"I'm so glad you like him. I would've never let Will set you two up if I didn't think you two would fit."

"A Shirley Temple for the lady." I hear Hannibal's voice pass into my ear, a bright drink set in front of me. I thank him, taking a few large sips. Thank fuck, now that he's back, we don't need to talk about this morning.

Before I can register the time, we're an hour or so into conversation and my drink is only half empty. We've been laughing and joking about all kinds of different things; Jack Crawford tripping up the stairs, one of my worse behaved dance student's latest antics, and so on. Alana and Will are eyeing each other up and I can't help but feel triumphant. I got to help make this happen; the girl Will has loved forever and him. It's been a great night so far, until a tall woman approaches the table.

"Aren't you a little unstable to be dating, Agent Will Graham?" The red head speaks, her voice low and vicious. The fuck is this bitch? She looks like a god damn mouse with those buck teeth… and can those jeans get any skinnier?

"That's not your field of expertise, Fred." Alana sneers. Hell, she_ is_ drunk. She never gets bitchy, she's always classy and kind.

"Freddie," oh ho ho, she didn't like that little nick name ", and Doctor Lecter? You're letting a mentally unstable man get drunk in public?" Oh hell no, good thing I'm not as well-mannered as Alana while sober.

"Listen, you cunt," I stand, walking over to her as anger floods my veins ", you're ruining my good time and I don't fuckin' like it. You have five seconds to leave the bar and not come back before I drop your ass." She laughs, her nose crinkling; yep, definitely a fucking mouse. I bet she's never had someone like me live up to a threat. Come on, lemmie wipe that smile off your face.

"Are you Doctor Lecter's date? A man at least two decades your senior-"

"Bitch, I'd smash your face in for six bucks and a Doctor Pepper. You've worn out your welcome of five fucking seconds. I don't care if this shit gets me kicked out of this bar for life. Seeing your blood on my knuckles is a pleasure that will keep me wasted for years." Mouseface backs up, biting her inner cheek. Oh that's right, get fucking scared. I suddenly feel a large hand on my shoulder, keeping me placed.

"Miss Lounds," _like shit, why'd Lecter gotta step in?_ ", I've never been for physical assault or rudeness. However, I'd be willing to let my _date_ go ahead if you do not follow her instructions and leave this instant." His voice fades out and I look around the bar… everyone is staring. Fuck, I gotta get out of here.

I rip away from him and spit at Mouseface. I stomp beyond her and out the door, kicking a garbage can over before continuing my walk. I hear footsteps behind me, but I have no more fucks to give. I keep stomping on around the bar's side. The ally in enclosed and only enough to stretch my arms out and it makes me uncomfortable as shit. But I'm so angry that I just keep walking, ignoring the quickening paces behind me. I swear, if it's Mouseface, I'm gonna….

"Celest, stop walking away, it's very rude and you're not in your good mind." Hannibal's voice calls, so soft and cultured, that I find myself stuck in my tracks. As I turn, I suddenly realize how cold I am. Why do I keep forgetting the fucking jacket? I face Hannibal, his jacket in his hands and his eyes fixated on me.

"That was… impressive." He smirks, leaning forward and wrapping his jacket around me.

"Yeah, well she was too god damn annoying. Shit, I gotta go apologize to Alana and Will for ruining their date." I groan, looking to the pavement in shame.

"They're laughing about it," Hannibal places his hands upon my shoulders, now smiling ", they don't like her either. In fact, Will mentioned how hilarious it would be for you two to meet during a session." His hand rises to my face, gentle fingers pushing a stray piece from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

"Good… I just didn't want to ruin it for them. And, uh, sorry for being an asshole. She was just a monstrosity." As I come down from my anger induced high, I feel tears start to brim. I see his eyes narrow, hands trailing from my shoulders to my face, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb.

"Typically, that would be rude. However, I hold an exception for you. It was simply nice to see someone stand up for Will in such a brazen way for once." His smile warms me and his thumbs are there to wipe away any tears. Yet as we l laugh, a cold breeze stops the fun. My exposed flesh raises goose bumps, making me shiver closer to Hannibal. He embraces me, clearly feeling me coming down from the verbal lashing I gave. We stand like this for a while, arms tight around each other before I pull away.

"We should go inside." I suggest.

"That sounds like a good idea." Hannibal nods.

But we continue to stand there, looking to the ground and then to each other.

"Fuck it." I breathe, stepping forward and rising myself on my toes. I put my lips to his for the briefest moments, instantly regretting everything. I feel his hands on my back, pushing my closer to him, the brief moment suddenly extended. His lips are practiced against my own, arms caressing me instead of holding me. Hannibal's being gentle on purpose, he knows I'm hesitant.

I pull back, eyeing him warily. Was that rude too? Must not have been, his arms are still around me, a hand on the small of my back and the other high by my neck.

"Fuck it, Celest? As in," he started, his breathe dissipated ", you're taking a moment's chance or you've decided to after a moment of thought?" His cheeks are flushed and I can't tell if it's the cold or me. Is this how this man behaves. I can't help thinking that the body language is staged; it seems too planned to me. Then again, this seems like a man who doesn't have many romantic encounters.

"Take a guess." I gulp. The confidence I usually own with all my other seductive succession is gone… is this me? Is me shy and timid? Is me a girl who wants to smile and bite my lip, not to seduce, but because she can't help herself? Twenty seven is too young for a life crisis.

Suddenly, his warmth is gone except for the hand on the small of my back.

"Let's go inside."

**Ehhh hope that was okay.**

**xoxoPN**


	6. Tripping Over You

**So I have someone staying in the room I write in, not someone I'm fond of to boot. So I may not post the next week or two.**

We don't get to Will's place until two in the morning, the two drunk lovebirds behind Hannibal and myself giggling like fools. But I can't lie; I love me some drunk shenanigans and these two are the best to do it with. I nod for Hannibal to grab Will and I'll get Alana. I sling her arm over my shoulder, forcing her to walk. I suddenly feel her crude breathe dipping into my ear.

"He 'ants you, 'Lest. Jus' do et!" She chuckles. I wonder if she can understand herself or if it's just mindless chatter.

"Damn you're drunk as fuck. Let's get you on the couch." I set her down gently, talking to Will's kitchen. I grab four bottles of water and return to find Alana already sleeping. I set the bottles beside her, knowing she'll thank me tomorrow. And gesture for Hannibal to do the same.

By the time we get back in the car, it's two fifteen in the morning and I just want to get the fuck home. But I feel a heavy subject on a thin wire hanging above my head. Is he gonna bring it up? Nah, he won't bring it up. It's been like five minutes since we got in the-

"Would you like to talk about it?" _Ah, go fuck yourself_, _you damn sweetheart_. Hannibal's voice wraps around me; I feel the therapist in him emerge from the shadows.

"Talk 'bout what?" I look to him, earning a sly grin. He licks his lips, slowly, taunting an answer form me.

"If you don't want to discuss it, that's alright. Anger and rage can make someone act brashly, without thinking about consequences." His statement was coaxing me to correct him. I don't take the bait exactly, but I step around it.

"What's to talk about, Hannibal? We kissed."

"You kissed me." Well shit. We've hit zugzwag.

"Then you kissed me back and stopped it." I groan, leaning my head against the dashboard. He's irritating but I want everything to do with him. I want the ride to never end but I also want it to end. This is why I stopped getting emotionally invested; too much shit.

"Are you upset because I pulled back from you?" His eyes shift to me, looking for any emotion.

"No, I don't care. You didn't want to kiss me, it's fine." I hear Hannibal sigh, watching him lift his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He slows as he hits an empty portion of the freeway, not other cars in sight. Not like I question the travel anomaly; I just want to get home… but I also want to stay in the car…

"I wouldn't have kissed you back if I didn't want to kiss you at all."

"Then you regretted it, because you felt obligated to kiss me back." Fuck, is this high school all over again? Sticky backseat fumbles and dumb conversations about shit that didn't need to be addressed?

"Celest," his fingers tap against the steering wheel ", just let me finish. I regret nothing, nor did I not want to kiss you. It was sudden on your part, I fear you may have acted due to the adrenaline from your verbal fight with Miss Lounds. I didn't want your emotion to full action, but your action to full emotion."

"Spoken like a true psychiatrist, vague and odd." I give a soft smile, looking over to him. I see him smirk as well.

"So was it emotion to action or action to emotion?"

I feel stumped. Which one was it, Celest? I can't tell… I was feeling pretty angry during that fight, but by the time I went outside I felt pretty cooled down. I didn't feel angry when I kissed him… I think. Shit, this is too confusing. I should have kept to myself, just went inside.

"It's okay not to know."

"We can try again." The words leave my mouth before I can register them. I feel the car slow and turn into my driveway… that felt quicker than half an hour.

I face him, my mouth dry and palms clammy. He looks much more collected than me, his lips slightly parted and eyes light with relaxation. He suddenly gets out, walking to my side and opening the door. He offers his hand as I unbuckle my seatbelt, so I take it, leading into the same position as when we first kissed; a strong arm on my back, one around my waist, and his forehead to mine. The moment of stillness between us is him asking permission, so I do nothing. I let him kiss me and I kiss him. It's simplistic and light, hands griping his back tightly. This felt better than the kiss in the bar alleyway. This felt less primal, more action to emotion based. But this time I pull away, gliding my hands across him and up his chest. I can tell he knows my answer, a gentle smile upon his lips.

"I wanna invite you in." I whisper, feeling his arms tighten around me, possessive and comfortable.

"But you can't. I also wouldn't accept." He kisses my cheek.

"I can't, but it's 'cause I have to work early. And I know you wouldn't, you're a gentleman… whatever that is now a days." I wink, leaving him with a hug. I skip up the stairs to my door, collapsing as soon as I hit the bed.

When I wake, I still have the same dopey grin. I also don't really give all that much of a shit about said grin. Kissing Hannibal felt good, it felt right. No doubt it'll make Will and Alana happy too… well, once they get over their hangovers. But fuck it, it was good, so I'll let myself feel good. With a renewed pep in my heels, I go to start my working day.

I shower and towel off, tying my semi-dry hair into a messy bun. With my dance gear in a bag slung over my shoulder, I head out to the garage in a big heavy sweater. Before I back out of the warmth of my home, I check my texts.

'_Thanks for not letting me drink too much last night, I almost had an episode but I kept it under wraps. I think they're getting better… anyway, hope you and Hannibal had a good time.' _Will had texted me around nine this morning, probably between the moments when his head was slung over a porcelain bowl.

'_Thx for the water. Dying. Text later.' _Alana is much less formal when she texts, it's almost laughable. She's so straight edge and intimidating at work, then text speak all night long. I laugh, finally making my way to work. I give a sigh as the studio comes into view. It's felt like forever since I got to dance with my kids.

"Mornin' Stella, how've ya been?" I wave, the redhead peering over the reception desk to give a wave.

"Hey 'Lest! I'm great, how've you been?"

"Good, good. Gotta go stretch, though. Haven't done much dancing this week. Wanna do lunch?" I earn a thumbs up from Stella as I run to the teachers change room. I slide on shorts and a muscle shirt, the studio thoroughly heated in contrast to outside. I hold the numerous shoes within my hands, fumbling my way into the large empty studio.

I take a deep breath, the smell of mirror cleaner and light perfume seeping into my pores. This is where I belong; on these grey, hard floors. I hook my phone up to the stereo, flinging through my dance class playlist. I put on some pop jam, the name I don't care for, but I toss on my jazz shoes and start working my muscles out. I feel myself succumbing to the music; I feel the next stretching dance move. The beat has infected my heart, my dance all primal need to move. From the corner, I take three steps before leaping into the air, legs out and back in…

"Celest?" I hear a voice say, ripping me from my world. My foot slips, toes just grazing the floor before I collapse. I crush my hand under my chest, and my hip feels pretty sore, but thank fuck I didn't smash my head off the ground. I roll onto my back; _which motherfucker thought interrupting me creating art was a good god damn idea_?

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I'd make you slip. I was going to call sooner, but your dance was mesmerizing." My vision stops bluring, a very sad Hannibal appearing above me.

"God damn it, I coulda smacked my head off the ground."

"Good thing I used to be a surgeon." He gives a proud smile, taking my hands within his own and lifting me to my feet.

"What are you doing here? How'd you even figure out where I work- Oh. Will told you, didn't he?" I cross my earns, watching him shrug.

"He may have mentioned it," He suddenly smirks, eyelashes batting at me. I thought that shit only worked for Disney princesses, but apparently it works for men too ", I brought you a light breakfast. I figured you hadn't eaten yet." He leads me to the table in the far corner, typically used for writing down routines, where he sets down a plastic bag.

"Simple fruit salad, light and sweet, yet perfect fuel for your body on a work day. The main fruit is honey dew melon, topped with raspberries and blackberries. It's topped with a thin strawberry and pineapple sauce, rich in its own sugar." The bowl of colour wafts a scent my way; so sweet and enticing. I find myself grabbing the fork without question.

"You're gonna make me fat one day." I laugh, watching Hannibal sit across from me with his own fruit.

"You plan on giving me the time to make you gain weight via food?" He raises an eyebrow, his tongue licking the sauce from a glistening raspberry before wrapping his lips around it.

"Loaded question." I grumble, sticking my tongue out at him. Hannibal simply laughs.

We take our time with breakfast, talking about last night's crazy intruder. He tells me all about Lounds and her rude escapades. I can't help but grab my phone and pull up her articles.

"_You shouldn't piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living_? Now this is why I love Will, this is why we're friends. That's just awesome." I snort, setting the phone on the table. Hannibal gives his own chuckle, grossing his lean legs over one another.

"He's so mild tempered, and while he's had his moments, I've never seen him be so bold."

"I have," I lean forward, ready to tell this story ", so it's two years ago and I coax Will to go to this concert with me. It's a pretty heavy band and I wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it, but he figured a room full of people paying attention to the band and not him would be okay. So, we've been in line for like, six hours already. There was only three people in front of us. Then suddenly, twenty minutes before the door open, twenty of their friends show up. Like, after all that waiting, they fucked us. Well, Will goes off and fucking snaps. Every dirty word you can think of? He spat it in their face. It was fuckin' rad. They all ended up leaving, crying. Shit was rad." All Hannibal did was shake his head, a smile on his chiseled features.

"Anyway, thanks for breakfast. Just be more careful when you see me stretching next time." I set my fork in my bowl and put the lid on top of that.

"There's a next time. Good." I laugh at his 'matter of fact' voice, giving a nod.

"Sure, your breakfast is great!"

"My dinner is better. I'll have you over soon." He looks to me for confirmation, putting the bowls and whatnot in his bag.

"Sweet, let's do that as soon as we can, kay?" I stand, stretching out my previously stretched muscles. Great, I only left myself twenty minutes to work my body out…

"It does take a while to create a feast. But I'm sure in the next week, I'll have something wonderful for you. I hope you don't mind different."

"It's my middle name." I push my chair in and, without thinking at all, I give him a kiss on the cheek. I swear I see him flush the lightest shade of pink… ah, little ol' composed perfect man can get flustered.

"I'll call you later." He stands up straight, suddenly composed again. Hannibal grins a coy grin, paired with a wink before leaving my dance floor. I can't wipe the grin off my face as I hook up my phone and go back to my art.

**Yeah, yeah my relationship development sucks dick. But I wanted to get this out before I couldn't anymore D: The next update may not be for a whole week, so stick with me, okay?**

**xoxoPN**


	7. Too Early For This Shit

**c:This chapter is the extra special chapter leading up to the MA chapter c: THERE'S SMUT NEXT TIME! YAY.**

I jolt awake to the sound of my phone ringing non-stop, eyes squinting open to peer at my alarm clock. It's fucking six in the morning. Who in the sweet fuck? I shut my eyes, groping for my phone. It better be Will having a mental break down. I swear I'll kill anyone who isn't him on this god damn line…

"I swear to god, unless someone is dying, I will eat your limbs." I whisper, voice weak and cracked with sleep.

"With a nice wine based sauce, I'd hope." _Oh, god damn it Lecter._

"It's six in the damn morning Hannibal. You don't see me for a week and then you call me at six in the morning." I find myself whining, still not able to open my sore eyes. I hear Hannibal laugh. He's too damn cute for me to even be mad at him.

"Have you been waiting for my call? Interesting." I hear a grin.

"Don't you be writing anything down on your psychiatrist note pad yet. And I've been doing a little waiting. I was hoping I'd get more delicious breakfast."

"If I knew you loved breakfast so much, we'd do it more often. But I'm sorry for having called you so early. Should I let you go?" _Well, I'm fucking up now, man. Are these those quirks everyone finds in their partner? Fuck, man._

"Nah, I'm assuming you called for something important. You better have called for something important." I prod, a joking tone lacing my voice.

"Yes, I did, something of upmost importance. I haven't contacted you in the past week because I've been busy preparing a perfect dinner for the pair of us. I was hoping, if you weren't busy, I could pick you up and take you to my house for the evening."

"You drive me everywhere! I can drive, you know."

Hannibal chuckles.

"I'm aware. It's simply a kind gesture. I'd appreciate you taking the offer." I can practically hear his little pouting face.

"I'll take it," I grin, rolling over to the cool side of my bed ", what time?"

"I'll pick you up a six o'clock."

"Perfect," I smile to myself, pulling the covers up ", so why are you calling so early?"

"My first patient decided to not show up."

"How rude."

"I'm glad you agree. Most people try to tell me something serious may have come up. But nine times out of ten, they were too lazy to get out of bed. Book a later date if you can't manage to wake up. They're not only wasting my time, but the time of someone who needs me and can manage to wake up like an adult in the morning." It's the first time I've ever heard him angry. His accent is thicker and it's endearing.

"How long until your next appointment?"

"Twenty minutes."

"Whatcha gonna do until then?"

"Talk with you, if you let me."

"Oh," I chuckle ", okay then. So, any other reasons aside from dinner than you didn't come see me?" He laughs and I hear some rustling on the other line. I think he just sat down or something.

"You make it sound like I didn't want to see you. On the contrary, I've been meaning to come over but I didn't want to over step my welcome. I've been quite intrusive since we met."

"Not your fault, Will told you to be. Plus, I got used to it. I almost started to like it." I tease.

"Will did tell me, however I shouldn't have taken the advice… or perhaps I should have, considering the outcome." I hear a grin in his voice.

"And what's that outcome?" I snort.

"Well Celest, forgive me for any misinterpretation, but I thought… well, perhaps…"

"You don't wanna say date or dating, eh? Are we to old to be dating? Or having crushes on each other?"

"No, I wouldn't say that. Well, perhaps, when you put it in those terms it sounds very juvenile. But I'd like to believe we've grown rather fond of each other and… well, I can't seem to find the word for us."

"You're flustered," I whisper ", that's cute."

"Well, how could I not be flustered? You're the first woman to completely enchant me in many years. I can't seem to pull my thoughts away from you. Even a professional man such as me is finding it difficult to focus on work. It's hard to help others when all I want to do is talk about you."

"You know how to charm a girl, don't you?"

"A woman. You're a woman who simply fell victim to my charm as I fell to yours."

"Oh god, you're smooth. If you weren't so… well, you? I'd believe you were trying to fool me into your bed."

"I wouldn't fool you into bed, Celest."

"Yeah, but if you were, you wouldn't have to try that hard. At this point, I'm pretty easy for you." I snicker. That'll get him. I hear a light chuckle.

"Celest," Hannibal playfully draws out my name ", I'm at work."

"Oh, sorry! Not sorry, though." I laugh, stretching onto my back.

"I didn't say you have to stop, I'm simply stating a fact. I'd fall to my knees for you as well. I apologize in advance for any behaviors on my part. My hands way wander." Oh, playful, teasing Hannibal. I can get used to this.

"You have a patient to get to. I'll see you tonight."

"Alright, my dear. Get some more rest. I expect our night to run late." My dear? My, my, aren't I moving up in the world.

"Will do, Hannibal." I hang up, tossing my phone onto the unused pillow before going back to sleep.

I wake up at 2 in the afternoon and regret nothing. I feel light and awake, ready for tonight. I can't help but lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with a silly grin. He expects our night to run late? This is more my pace; get beyond the silly fancy wine and crazy French dishes? We'll be playing my game.

I get ready slowly, taking my time with each step. I eventually pull on a light blouse and a high wasted, flowing skirt that cascades over my thighs. With my hair straight and down, I make my way to my shoes closet and dawn some black flats. Comfort is key for tonight. Wanting to go home because of a bad clothing choice wouldn't make the night fun.

As I tie my winter trench coat up, a gentle knock hits my door. I give myself a nod in the mirror, opening the door to see a very handsome Hannibal. He gives me a small grin, just enough to make me smile, before stepping back to make room for me.

"You look beautiful tonight, much as every time I've seen you." I hear him say just behind me as I lock my door. I turn, Hannibal lifting his hand to me. I take it, feeling his other hand land on my lower back, his lips barely grazing mine.

"I've missed you." I laugh; a sudden anxious feeling low in my stomach. He smirks, lips falling to my neck. Oh… this better be setting the mood for the whole night. His teeth nibble at my flesh, tongue running over each stinging nip to cool it. My hand grips the back of his jacket, my chest feeling heavy with slow breaths.

"The neighbors are going to see!" I chuckle, breathy and slow. I feel him pull from my skin, his face plagued with a near-boyish grin.

"I already apologized for any behaviors." He walked me to the car, opening my door before getting it. As we get going down the road, he breaks the comfortable silence.

"I'm glad you let me drive you. I have a wide selection of wine as well as a beer I brewed and bottled myself." He boats, tactfully and sweet, as always.

"And you'll be drinking too? It'll be the first drink we've had together, mister designated driver." I pivot to him, crossing my ankles.

"How will you get home?" He glances over to me, eyebrow raised and lips pursed.

"I won't."

The look he gives me is perfect. His eyes are dark and lips are slack. His entire demeanor screams that I'm playing with fire. I smile at him, batting my eyelashes. Oh yeah, this is going to be a kick ass night.

**Remember, MA next chapter! But I doubt anyone who watched Hannibal is under 16 anyway.**

**xoxoPN**


	8. Let's Have Dinner

**Again, we got some MA action here! So be cautious, don't be an asshole if you aren't into that. When you see it's starting to happen, skip over it.**

"Wow… nice house." It's all I can manage to say. It truly is a wonderful, it's almost overbearing. The walls are grey with overlaying red curtains to offset the darkness. The walls are coated in artwork from all corners of the world and sculptures of beautiful magnitude. I notice a lack of pictures of people, however. No family photos from what I can tell.

"Thank you. To be honest, I've always preferred my office." He holds a hand against my back as I slip off my shoes.

"Yeah, Will told me about the old timey book balcony you have."

"Did he? You'll have to come and visit, see it for yourself. I know you'll appreciate it." His smile is small, more focused on leading me into the dining room.

It's overwhelming. The table is far too long for two, even if we sat across from each other, I'd feel intimidated by unused space. The table is lined with a white cloth and silver candlesticks, holding white candles waiting to be lit. Crystal white dishes sit across from each other just beside the head of the table. I take a deep breath… man, he likes to hold dinner parties. _I really need to show him a night in, Celest style_.

"Too much?" He asks, pulling out my chair.

"A little." I chuckle, gulping as I sit. This man makes me nervous. To be honest, I'm still a tad freaked out. No one normal has a nose like his and his demeanor… while charming, there's something off putting about his façade.

"I'll be back in a moment, I simply have to plate." He leaves, giving me time to look around. It's so clean, the moonlight cascading in from the back, glass doors making each surface glow and shine. The feel the chill from beyond them, rubbing my one arm. Hopefully this is a light meal…

"Here," Hannibal walks back in with a plate in each hand ", the appetizer is cretons de chez-vous."

"What's that?" I scoff, observing the dish. Three pieces of… toasted baguette? It's covered with a humus looking thing, topped with some shredded cabbage or something.

"It's my take on a classic dish. A toasted baguette, topped with ground pork, finished with lettuce lightly dabbed with a vinaigrette sauce." He reams off the list as he pours his infamous self-brewed n' bottled beer.

I give a nod, looking down. Am I supposed to pick this up? Is that rude? Fuck, I should have talked to Will about this. I take a sip of the beer to fill the moment. Holy fuck, it's like paradise was turned into a liquid that was blessed by unicorns frolicking in a field of human equality and sexy love. I almost forget the awkward situation at hand, this beer is so good. I set the glass down, thinking about how I'd rather have that for dinner.

"It's finger food." Hannibal smiles. Well hot damn… those are undistinguished words from a distinguished mouth. But it's nice to know, none the less. I pick up one of the small pieces, taking a small nibble. The colour of the meat was deceiving; it's wonderful. The texture and the flavors dance a seductive salsa on my tongue. It's fuckin' rad, to say the least.

But there's something off about it. It doesn't quite taste like the pork I've had in all my years of life. I'm not sure if it's bad or not. I take another bite, weighing it on my tongue.

"Everything up to taste, darling?" Darling? Now that just sounds weird…

"Yeah, it's great."

We finish the weird tasting dish and move onto the main course. It's a rack of lamb… uhg, even I have standards. But shit, I'll try anything twice, and it does look real good. I cut into it and give it a tentative taste. Again, it's damn good, but there's just something off about it. Not in a way where it tastes bad or undercooked. Just… _off_.

"You've been making odd facial expressions all night. Is the food alright?" Hannibal looks up at me, chewing a small piece of lamb.

"Uh, yeah. It's just," I can't bear to tell him it tastes weird, he's prided on his cooking so high ", so fancy. I'm not a fancy woman."

"What kind of woman are you?" He grins, cocking his head.

"Come over and I'll show you. Only one rule; sweat pants are a must."

"I'll have to go out and buy sweatpants."

"Buy a muscle shirt too. You'll look real good." I wink, continuing to eat. I don't hear anything form his side of the table. He's stopped eating? I look up, just to see him staring at me.

"What?" I laugh, tucking some hair behind my ear.

"We've spent plenty of time together, but I know nothing of you. I don't know what Celest Falton is about." Hannibal eyes me, eyes lifting occasionally.

"What's to know?"

"Everything you'll tell me." He watches me like a hawk watching its prey, attentive and hungry. I might as well, what's to lose?

"Well, I was born and raised here. Father was never around, Mom raised me on her own. I started dancing when I was seven and never gave it up. I was a lesbian from age ten to twenty until, one day, a man seemingly appeared out of nowhere and I fell in love with him. While he destroyed my heart like a fucking asshole, he helped me find myself. Now I just identify as sexual, it's more accurate that way."

"A lesbian for ten years, then a sudden change?" He perks up like a puppy. I swear, I'm psychiatrist fodder.

"Anything's possible. It was weird, but you gotta go with the flow. It happened, so it happened, you know? Anyway, in high school, I took lots of art and the only creative writing class given. I took a few law classes too, just to get some information. After that, I took one year at college. Did a women's studies class, fictional writing course, and a sexual education course. I graduated, bought the house I live in now, paid off my student debts, my mortgage, and everything else. I do better than just surviving in life because I'm doing what I love. That's basically it." I put the lamb in my mouth, giving a shrug as I chew.

"You skipped over your elementary school years."

"The point?" I say after I swallow, cutting another piece.

"You skipped over eight or nine years of your life. The period in which we grow and discover ourselves as human beings in a very specific way."

"Well, they weren't fun for me." This isn't something I want to address. Not today, or tomorrow, or even years from now.

"Why not?"

I look at him, my face stoic. This isn't something I wanted to talk about, not now… not ever.

"A few years in elementary school were hell."

"You can tell me anything, you know."

"No, I don't." I finish the last bite, putting my utensils down. I give him a stare that makes him shift, leaning back in his chair. Then he gives a gentle smirk. That fucker, he's enjoying this.

"I didn't mean to prod. I hope you trust me well enough with your story one day."_ Thank fuck, he dropped it. _Hannibal stands, kissing my forehead before leaving with the plates.

"I was going to do desert, but I thought that might be too much." He says as I enter the kitchen, watching him flawlessly move around.

"Probably would be," I laugh, patting my stomach dramatically ", it was wonderful. Do you need any help." I offer, standing in front of the sink. Hannibal's arms wrap around me, his lips touching my neck in a gentle kiss.

"I'll do them later." He turns me around, lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist with a laugh, elbows resting on his shoulders.

"You're strong for your age." I tease, earning a stern look.

"How old do you think I am?" He gives a smirk, walking past his living room to the stairs.

"You're direct, aren't you?" I chuckle, excitement soaring through my veins.

"Apparently, when you're my age, you have to be." He kisses between my collar bones, stepping through the open doorway to his bedroom. It's dark, yet comforting, the curtains just slightly open to let the moonlight in.

He sets me down on the bed, eyeing me with a strong hunger. He pushes my legs apart, looking down at me with roaming eyes. He lets his hands wander down my arms and up my clothed torso. He pulls my blouse out from my skirt, slowly undoing each button with skilled fingers. Hannibal pulls me up by the fabric, sliding it off my flesh, my white bra exposed to him. Pushing me back down, he continues his exploration, lightly tickling my flesh as he runs his fingertips down my torso.

He toys with my hem of my skirt, dropping his head to kiss above my breasts. I groan for him, pushing my hips up against him; incentive to remove the skirt. Painfully slow, he pushes it down, silky fabric hitting the floor. I feel exposed, horrifically, bringing my own hands to the lapels of his jacket. I push it away, letting it join the floor with my blouse. He didn't seem to mind, giving me a smile as I pull at his tie. I kiss him, soft and shy, pushing him away by the shoulders. I yank the tie off, undoing the buttons on his vest, then his shirt. It's a shame he hides his body under the three piece suits, his chest toned and chiseled. His hand moves to pull my bra strap down, but I grab it, kissing each fingertip as if to bless it before he moves on. It's possibly one of the most erotic things I've experienced. The way we locked eyes in that moment sent shivers down my spine.

I'm stuck in that moment as he moves on, hands lifting me slightly to undo the confining material. He pulls it away, eyeing me over. I can tell he wants to touch me, let himself indulge in me, but he keeps hold. He lets his hands hall to my underwear, pulling it off in one swift movement. He drops to his knees, pulling me close to him, my knees over his shoulders. Hannibal takes my hands, kissing the inside of my thighs. I moan, letting my eyes flutter shut.

I feel his breath against me, my stomach flipping in anticipation. I dig my heels into his back, arching my body. I feel hot, suspending in a moment where everything is too warm for my flesh. Then I feel his tongue circle me; I gasp. It only takes a moment of his tongue lapping me up to realize he's a master of the art. I let myself fall into a fit of loud moans, eyes peering down to watch him. He's entranced, eyes closed and head bobbing gently with each flick of the tongue. I grip his hands tighter, feeling him speed up his movements. His tongue enters me, and then draws back, lips encasing my clit. He sucks, slowly, letting me feel each and every throb that shoots through my body.

I can barely form his name, but I know he can sense I'm close. My breath turns heavy and I pull his hands up to my chest. Hannibal's hands grip my breasts, his mouth working furious wonders on me. My moans, loud and frequent, turn incoherent. I start to throb, hips pushing up against my will. My hands fly above my head, gripping onto the feather down comforter. Hannibal keeps working his magic, slowing down at a steady rate until he climbs back up my body in a trail of kisses. I grip his belt, shaking hands fighting to get it off. Finally, I push them down with his underwear, pulling him close against me.

"I need you." I manage to whisper, kissing along his jaw.

He grips my hips, pushing inside me without warning. I give a squeal with a smile. The feeling of being so full, the feeling of him thrusting into me... it's almost too much. I grab his shoulders, raking my nails down his back. I hear Hannibal hiss, kissing me with tremendous force. The hip motions go faster, he's not going to last much longer and neither am I. I move my hips with his, his soft groans of pleasure in my ear egging me on. I pull my lips form his, whispering into his ear to give into me. His hips meet my own, his arms wrapping under me to pull me close.

"You're wonderful, my dear." His voice is low and enchanting. I give a chuckle, kissing his neck.

"I've been told." I grin, kissing his lips once more.

**I should write a non shitty version of Fifty Shades of Grey and get fucking rich, I tell you.**

**xoxoPN**


	9. Something Strange

**I was hoping to get 40 reviews before I posted this chapter, just because the 39 had been bothering me so much. Odd numbers, man. **

**I haven't updated because I got a tattoo on my wrist, and the way I type causes friction against it, and I need to avoid it the best I could until it was good enough to work with.**

_I rain my fists down, knuckles meeting cushion, then a harsh wall. A cracking noise meets my ears, a spurt of blood meets my cheek. Today is the day of Armageddon. Blind rage infects my soul as my hands grip around his throat. I lift his head up and slam it onto the ground. I stand, flinging myself at the girl, my knees digging into her shoulders. Screaming, I smack her temple with a balled hand._

Fuck, it's dark and freezing as fuck in here. I gather the blankets around me, pulling into the fetal position. I scoot to Hannibal's side of the bed, greeted by a cool mattress. Wait…, I'm alone? Where's Hannibal? I lean over the bed, hands hitting the ground. I feel around, pulling Hannibal's shirt from the floor. Tugging it on, I button up as I walk down the stairs. A calming tune emitting from a piano meets me as I hit the middle floor.

I follow the music to an open concept room to see Hannibal sitting in front of the large black instrument, fingers dancing over the keys with incredible grace. I smile, crossing my arms as I watch him.

"You shouldn't be out of bed. It's two in the morning." Hannibal's voice is just louder than the piano. He looks back at me, cheeks and the tip of his nose a light pink. How the hell did they get that colour?

"I could say the same for you." I chuckle, walking over to him. He wraps an arm around my thighs, his cool flesh making contact with my warm body. Holy shit, how cold can you get? I put two and two together, giving him a look.

"You were outside." I touch his cheek, feeling the cold radiating off of him before I even make contact.

"I just needed air," This guy is trying to bullshit me ", you look good in my clothes." He smirks, eyeing me up.

"So you went outside in freezing weather just to get some air? You couldn't open a window?" I raise my eyebrows, stepping back from him with my arms crossed. He gave me a look that makes my skin itchy, taking my hands within his own. He stands, wrapping cool arms around me.

"I didn't want to scare you," He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead ", but none of that tonight. Please, let's go back to bed." He lifts me up, hands under my thighs, laying kisses to the flesh of my neck.

"Didn't want to scare me? Over what?" I can't just let it go, he alluded to something really fucking serious.

"I won't bother you with it tonight." He lays me down in bed, sliding lying down beside me, pulling the blankets over my now chilled form and his own. He pulls me close, coaxing me to sleep as he plays with my hair.

I let the next morning, breakfast and all, go by without saying a thing about last night's incident. From him being able to smell my three day old perfume the night we met, to the dance incident, to right now, and everything in between… I sense something's just different about him. I let him drop me off, parting with promises of a phone call and another meet up. But as soon as I'm in my house, I'm on the phone to Will.

"_Will Graham." _He nearly barks, tight and low.

"This is your personal phone, stop it with the formalities." I chuckle, falling back onto my couch. I start to wiggle out of my dirty clothes as Will talks, putting him on speaker.

"_Calm down," _Will gives a small laugh_ ", it's just a cover up in case someone from work calls here by mistake. How was your night with Hannibal."_

"Well, I was calling you about that… if I asked you to get some information on him, you wouldn't tell him?" I scratch the back of my head, I hope Will doesn't think I'm fucking stupid.

"_Why are you even asking, Alana holds him to high regards, he's a great psychiatrist and friend to me-"_

"Will, it isn't that simple! He's great, he's kind and sweet. A true romantic with wonderful taste. But there are certain things about him that I can't put my finger on."

"_Name one?" _He wasn't being vindictive, he was doing his job, and he needed the evidence.

"Did you tell him where I worked? Maybe it slipped out? Chatting about me, trying to tell him what I'm about?"

"_Never, it's never come up in conversation. The only thing I told him like that is where you lived so he could bring you breakfast."_

"No shit," Hannibal… you lying fucker ", he showed up at my dance studio in the morning a little while back. Said you told him where I worked. He said it came up."

"_I didn't. You know I wouldn't. Now I'm confused, why would he say that?"_

"You know about the sniffing incident. And last night? I wake up at two in the morning, alone in his bed. I walk the fuck downstairs, see this asshole at the piano, and after a little observation? I see he's been outside. I ask him about it and then he says he didn't want to scare me and says we're going to bed. The fuck, Will?"

"_Alright… that's odd, 'Lest. I can see how you'd be uncomfortable."_

"No shit. Take off those rose tinted glasses Alana smacked on your face about Hannibal and give an honest fucking opinion of him with me."

"_Honestly, Celest? I didn't think he'd like you. You're a really abrasive person, very foul mouthed even though you're not all that loud. That's something he considers rude and not once have I ever seen him chastise you for it. He showed immense interest in taking my offer for the double date the day after I told you, like he knew you already. I didn't think much of it then, I thought he was doing his duty as a psychiatrist and helping me form relationships. I'm sorry I didn't look into it."_

"It's not your fault, Will. I'm just stuck, I dunno what to believe. I think he's wonderful, I don't want to not see him again. He's not creepy or even off-putting. It's just… odd, you know? I'm stuck in the fucking middle, between a rock and a god damn hard place."

"_And I suppose you wouldn't want to just talk to him about it?"_

"Hell no. What if he's a crazy psycho killer in a suit and decides I'm asking to many questions?" I laugh, crossing my legs.

"_You know how important communication is, just tell him your concerns."_

"That's another thing. He's a psychiatrist, right? He, of all damn people, should know the importance of communication. Yet he goes off and leaves out a huge part of his last night because he didn't want to scare me? That's bullshit, Will. Best part is, he tried to lie about it first. He said he needed air, but when I called him out, he came clean. It's just… this entire thing is so messed up."

"_He lied about it? You shouldn't be on the phone with me, you need to call Hannibal."_

"I know," I groan ", I don't want too…"

"_You can do it. You can always call me after. And don't worry, I won't tell Alana about this." _He read my mind.

"Okay, thanks. Call you soon."

I hang up without hearing his goodbye, staring at the screen of my phone. Do I call him? Invite him to dinner? A nice brunch before I start asking questions? I grab my laptop, typing his name into a search engine. I bring up the reviews from his patience, seeing nothing but praise for the man. Review upon review of how he was professional. A true gentleman, very kind, understand, best psychiatrist ever.

Well shit, everyone thinks he's one kick ass dude. Then again, these are his patients, for whatever game he's playing, they must be off limits. I tap my phone, picking it up… I guess I might as well just give him a call.

**Whoopsie, super short chapter. Don't leave me with odd numbers anymore, maybe you'll get longer ones.**

**I'm kidding. But seriously.**

**xoxoPN**


	10. Back to Formality

**I'm telling you, writing this authors note even before writing the document, this is going to be a dialogue based chapter. But it's also probably really important, not only to Celest's character, but her relationships.**

"_Fuck." I wake up, gasping, clutching my chest. I keep having that violent dream, where I'm hurting the others. I haven't had those dreams since I was sixteen, what the fuck is making them come back?_

I wake up to my phone on its final ring. Rubbing my eyes, I look to the window. Oh shit, its dark outside. I literally slept all day long. Before I can even stand, my phone starts ringing and vibrating again, the happy tune filling my ears. I drag it off the coffee table, looking at the screen. It was Will… I sent him to voicemail, looking through my other calls.

Two missed calls from Will… and five from Hannibal? What the fuck is going on? I do the logical thing and call my friend first. The phone doesn't even ring twice before he picks up.

"_You really know how to scare a guy, eh 'Lest?_" Will's voice, heavy with rare worry yet light with comedic relief fills my ear

"I fell asleep," I rub my eyes, pulling the blanket on my couch over my chilly body ", why didn't you just come over? You got a damn key." You know, I could probably keep sleeping all night too. I yawn, trying to keep myself awake long enough for this phone call to be over

"_He told me he was worried about you, over something fairly serious sounding… I know you've got your own thing with him going on right now, but it sounded urgent._" If it wasn't Will who was doing it, I'd be pissed off right now. But he'd do anything to keep Alana, Hannibal, and myself safe. So I can't really get mad at him.

"If it was so serious, you could've come over." I laugh, hearing him sigh on the other end of the phone.

"_Well, Hannibal didn't tell me exactly what the situation was. But I was going to if you didn't pick up this time. Please call Hannibal?_"

"Fine, fine. Bye." So Hannibal didn't even tell Will…

I hang up and pinch the bridge of my nose. I had intended to call Hannibal before I fell asleep anyway. I dial his number, setting the phone on speaker. I put it back on the table, hearing it ring.

"_Hello?_" Hannibal's cultured voice greets me unknowingly.

"Hey." I grumble, and before I can even tell him who it is, I hear him let out a great breath.

"_Will and I have been calling. Why haven't you answered one of us?"_ His tone is stern and it really pisses me off. I don't owe this motherfucker shit, especially not to pick up the phone whenever he pleases.

"I'm not obligated to answer anyone's phone calls, Hannibal." I know what he's trying to do, I've seen it before. This is prime controlling behavior. I've been in an abusive relationship before, I know these dirty tricks.

"_When two people who obviously care for you are calling non-stop, perhaps you are. We've been worried_." I can practically taste the malice in that statement. It makes my stomach churn… something dark resides in this man, not like I didn't suspect that already.

"Over what, Hannibal? Jesus, does this have something to do with last night?" I figured it did, but I didn't think he'd tell me. But it won't hurt to ask.

"_It does_." Now, I have to let that sink in for a moment.

"So, you knew about this situation that would cause worry and you just refused to tell me."

"_I should have told you, but I didn't see it as an immense issue at the time. I can be there in twenty minutes, I'll take you out to dinner and we can talk about it._"

"Hannibal," I scoff, laughing lightly in disbelief at him ", you're fucking joking. I'm not going anywhere with you. I would have in a heartbeat if you would have been honest yesterday, but you told me not to worry." I feel like I'm scolding a child, my voice heavy with exasperation on each syllable.

"_I didn't mean to betray you, if that's how you feel. But my care and worry for you should exceed those feeling for right now. Let me take you out and you can stay with me tonight._"

"No, I'm not going anywhere with you Hannibal."

"_Celest, I'm not a man lesser of begging. I will beg for you to come with me if I must, especially if it's what you want from me._"

"Oh, you're a real people pleaser. I won't go anywhere with you, Hannibal. I refuse to go anywhere with you. You see, I know what you're up to, I know you're fucking game, man. Quite frankly, I think it's a sick little thing you're doing." He suspends a silence on the other line, and after a moment, I hear him give a relieved sigh.

"_Celest, I… I'm not quite sure how you found out, but I had the intention to tell you soon."_

"What? That you're a controlling asshole? You know, you don't need a lot of experience in the field to psychologically profile people. Your degree doesn't make you special. Men like you love control. A normal person would tell me what was worrying them, because it clearly has a correlation with me and if I know, I can better protect myself. But you don't want that, do you? You want me to remain blind so I have no control over the situation, you want to protect me and care for me. But I'm not weak and I'm too smart for this."

Hannibal clears his throat, but stays quiet. Good, that means I'm right.

"I was really starting to warm up to you. You freaked me out with the sense of smell, and even though I noticed your controlling behavior with your little comments about my clothing and whatnot, I put it aside. Because you know, I figured as a therapist, you'd be different than the boys I dig. But fuck, Hannibal, this situation can't be easily overlooked. I know that my behavior, the swearing and shit, isn't something you'd typically like-"

"_Obviously, you're special._" His voice is so soft and torn, it almost makes me feel bad I'm digging into him right now. But whatever feels that I still have for him, I push aside. I know I can't do this anymore.

"But why, Hannibal? What makes me so special? Nothing makes sense here, I just can't handle that kind of shit anymore. I'm too old. You know, I know Will didn't tell you where I worked."

"_He told you? That's fine, I'll admit I did some research on you. I wanted to get to know you as a human being. I meant nothing malicious, and clearly no harm, or else you'd already be harmed. I've had access to you for weeks now."_

"No, you wanted to get to know me on some fucked up Christian Grey level. If you wanted to know where I work, why didn't you ask? I would have told you. You clearly know shit about me that you shouldn't know without having spoken to me first."

"_I don't know about your elementary years." _I want to tell him to shove his own dick up his ass, but I just lose all interest to argue with him. I'm tired, I want a nap, and I'm sick of this shit.

"I'm done with this conversation now, Hannibal."

"_I won't stop trying to contact you, whether you want me too or not._"

"And you can't stop me from ignoring every phone call and knock at my door."

"_For now, Celest."_

"Goodbye, Doctor Lecter."

I hang up, letting myself calm down after that enraging phone call. I think back to his words after I told him the jig was up on his game. '_I'm not quite sure how you found out, but I had the intention to tell you soon_'… what does that mean? That wasn't about his controlling behavior, that doesn't even make sense in context. That was about something else entirely, something that's clearly a secret.

Before I snuggle back onto my couch, I check my house for any worrisome behavior. All the doors and windows are locked, nothing in the closets. I'm, sure I'm safe anyway; I wouldn't be surprised if Hannibal or Will was staked out in the driveway across from my home.

I snuggle back in and flick on the television, letting my mind relax for now. But I really just can't let go of how Hannibal let out a sigh that sounded like a huge weight was lifted from his chest tied with those words.

**Again, another short chapter in comparison to what you or I is used to. But you know, dat relationship drama.**

**PS; Pretty sure he was going to tell Celest that he's a cat person. Nothing to do with the fact that everYTHING IS PEOPLE**

**xoxoPN**


	11. Let Me Fix It the Only Way I Know How

**If you haven't been able to tell, as of late I've been struggling to understand the dynamic I've created between Celest and Hannibal. I don't like the way she's acting lately and any writer would understand what I mean. While I do have a complete reason as to why Hannibal met her and stuck around and his different way of behaving around her, Celest in the time period they've been together has become a bit of an asshole. I mean, she's become almost like one of those radical feminists who doesn't give a shit about facts and just goes off of what she wants.**

**Don't take the note above as a letter of resignation. I'm simply trying to fix Celest, and even Hannibal, to better the relationship. Things are slowly going to start wrapping up from here and I hope things make more sense.**

**PS; A reviewer pointed out Celest got angry when she mentioned her past! She's supposed to act that way! It's a thing, I made sure people knew it was a thing! Haha**

I'm not watching television for an hour until I start feeling like shit. I fucked up royally.

I was so caught up in my conversation with Will and my personal view on things that I didn't even listen to him and I know I should have. Hannibal's worry for me was completely justified; I was being a pompous cunt because of my own personal shit. I mean, I gotta admit, he sounded border line controlling but it was completely understandable. I just got so fucking angry when he even showed possessiveness.

"Fuck." I whisper to the darkness of my home, grabbing my phone. I've never made so many phonecalls in one day. I call Will, putting the phone up to my ear with a sour face.

"_Hey Celest_." He sighed into the phone, clearly as unhappy with me as Hannibal and I am.

"He told you?" Word spreads fast. I need to get Will more friends so this shit doesn't spread like wildfire.

"_He called. He couldn't talk for long, he had some late appointments starting at five_." Will was never the man to like being in the center of something. It was like an emotional overload on his brain and I never liked putting him in this position. I felt bad, not only did I fuck up a good thing with Hannibal over a little anger, I'm starting to weave that shit into my friendship.

"I over reacted, big time. Seriously, I mega fucked up." I don't think I'll ever be able to stop kicking myself in the ass for this.

"_Yes you did, but you typically do when you get onto your own path. You were going to give him hell and you did, despite the situation_." Ah fuck, Will knows me better than anyone.

"I know, I know. I feel like shit, okay?"

"_You made him feel like that too. He gave me a rundown of the speech you gave. I know you recognize it, but you went overboard_. _What caused you to lose it? _"

"I know I over did it, no need to shove it in my face. But as soon as he said that whatever he was freaking out about had to do with the incident last night he refused to tell me about, I went blind with rage."

"_Blind rage? Are you having those episodes again?_"

"It wasn't blackout bad. On a scale of one to ten, it was like… a four. God, I just couldn't let go once I latched on."

"_Because it's in your nature, Celest. You know you can't always control yourself when you start to get angry. You can't put yourself in situations where you'll know you'll become angry_."

"I didn't know I was going to get angry, Will. I've been controlling it well."

"You have been doing better, but your anger issue went into remission, it wasn't gone."

"I know that. I've been having the dreams again. Where I'm hurting other people."

"Again? It's been years."

"I know, Will. I," I sigh, holding my forehead ", I gotta talk to him."

"_Well, typically he takes a twenty minute break at eight between sessions. I can give you the address but you're going to need to get over there quick. And you need to tell him why. I can feel it in your voice that you want to fix the situation and I'm telling you honesty is the best route_."

"Stop being smarter than me," I smile, my heart heavy with piles of issues ", so. Think he'll let me in?"

"_Of course he will. He told me himself he didn't want to lose contact with you. And I'm not smarter than you. I just know Hannibal a little better._"

Will gives me his work address and some quick directions. As I pull on some jeans and a muscle shirt, I'm plagued with scenarios. This could turn out like shit. I practically betrayed him by thinking he'd ever betray me. I was dating him and I refused to take his feelings into account, which is rule number one in a new relationship. I'm such an incredible asshole. The terrible thoughts don't stop as I'm driving, my knuckles turning white on the wheel. He could turn me away, call me out on everything I said to him, or tell me I'm the worst.

I park across the street from his daunting office, slinking my way in. I approach the only door, which must be Hannibal's. As I get closer, a woman with a beautiful opera voice meets my ears. He must be playing old records because I can hear the minor scratching noises. I can't help but smile to myself; old record players have a spot in my heart. They're just so different from what we use now. I take a moment to listen to the music, the cool tango of the male and female voices calming me from the inside out. I lift a hand, knocking on the door just loud enough.

The record stops abruptly, the needle scratching against the record. His footsteps draw closer and I want to turn and run. But before I can, the door opens just slow enough to make me feel worse. His cool eyes lower to meet mine, Hannibal's face stoic, waiting for me to make the first move.

"So," I raise my hands in defeat ", I fucked up."

"What ugly language for such a beautiful woman." He was teasing me, a smirk slowly growing on his face. He steps aside, allowing me in, and I accept. The office smells warm and welcoming, and I gotta admit, that loft style library is really as kick ass as Will said. I just want to climb up there with a matress and have a field day.

"I kind of freaked out and you didn't deserve it. Will told me you had twenty minutes, so I took it, because I felt horrible." I spoke softly as I let my eyes wander his office.

"I'm glad you came, I wanted to talk more about a possible sensitive issue. I… Will mentioned your issue with anger. I've only seen hints of it, traces in how you behave, but tonight it became apparent. Are you okay with me making this observation?"

"yeah, it's fine. I've… I've always had the anger issue." I turn, shrugging to Hannibal. He moves towards me, his hands landing on my shoulders. He unzipped my bomber jacket, pushing it off my shoulders. He remained attentive to me as he hung my jacket on the rack.

"Does your anger often push away people you care about?"

"Sometimes. I usually don't notice how bad I've been until it's too late to fix." I admit, pushing my hands into my pockets. Hannibal's face softens when he hears my admission, eyes warm with understanding. With his hand on my back, he leads me to the chairs across from each other.

"I suppose your anger started when you were young, in the years no one knows about?" He sits me down and then sits across from me. I feel more like a patient than the person who was dating him, but I can't complain. For all purposes, that's what I am.

He's trudging into dangerous waters and he knows it. Anxiety starts to rush through my veins and I take a big breathe. I swallow my fear, my anxiety, and my reluctant nature. Will told me this could fix it…

"A lot of people know, just not you," I smile ", and it started back then. After that, it never went away." Hannibal raised his eyebrows.

"That? You're talking about a specific incident; the trigger incident."

"Yeah. I've been having a lot of dreams about it. Increasingly since we've met," Hannibal cocked his head ", maybe you just have that effect on women." I chuckle, trying to break the tension. He moves forward on the seat, resting his chin on his hands.

"Would you be willing to tell me what happened, Celest? Do you trust me enough with that? He's been waiting for this moment since dinner; he's been dying to know. And right now? Telling him this about me is the only way I can see us salvaging the budding relationship we had and what I honestly wanted to continue… despite his creepy quirks.

"Will told me telling you about it would fix it." I hate how I sound right now; so pathetic and defeated over a man I practically just met, but know plenty about. But I can't sound any different. Now isn't the time to whip out the stoic act.

"It as in us?"

I nod in response, looking off to the side.

"You don't have to say anything, Celest. We can drop it all right now, resume how we were, pretend this entire day didn't happen."

"No, Hannibal. You should know. It's a big part of who I am."

"I know, it's the reason why you're so abrasive, it's the reason why you swear when you're not even angry or hurt. If you're willing to tell me, here is a safe place to come forward."

We watch each other for a while and it almost feels like the first time we met all over again. I've been in therapy before, each session with a new guy or girl wanting to fix me felt just like this. Except, different. I didn't feel like I was being evaluated, he was actually listening to me. He actually cares, not only about my problem, about me.

"I almost killed four people. I almost killed four kids."

**Oh shit was that a cliff hanger? I feel like I fixed all the shit I fucked up. Any complaints about it, I bite my thumb at! New chapter soon.**

**xoxoPN**


	12. Dwelling on the Past

**Super duper secret past revealing time. **

"I lied to you," I start, his eyebrows rising ", about where I was born. I was born in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

_I'm in the grade seven section outside with my fellow peers. It's warm outside, almost mid-June I watch as the other kids run around with happy calls to their friends on the school yard. I sat alone on the bleachers like usual, just far away enough from the school and playground to go unnoticed, which is how I liked it now. In vain, I choose this spot, hoping no one will come to disturb me now._

_Four kids approach me, eyes fixated on me. I start to feel anxious. I don't like those kids. I should have played sick today, just like nearly every other day. I wish today could have been different._

"So, you dealt with these children often?" Hannibal prodded in a typical therapist fashion, but I didn't mind. If I were listening to the same story, I'd be just as curious.

"More than I'd like to admit."

_The boy with red hair stops in front of me, another boy and two girls beside him. Each of their faces holds a grin._

"_We've been waiting for your fat ass to move, but it doesn't look like you're going to, so we're doing it by force. Move."_

_What he says is nothing new. I've heard it every day for two years, since I moved to this horrible place. I sit up, though sick to my stomach, I show no fear to these kids. Perhaps I'm just used to it, or perhaps I've just trained myself not to cry in front of them anymore. But as I go to speak, I feel something beyond the sickness. It makes my fingers shake._

"_I'm watching the clouds. I don't want to move." We do this almost every other day. I say no, they keep coming at me until I just walk away._

_Because that's what the staff told me to do. Stand up for myself, and if that doesn't work, walk away. They'll stop sometime if you ignore them. These kids never got the memo._

"_You didn't hear me, you fat freak? This is our spot." The blonde girl spits, crossing her arms. _

_These twelve year olds and their territorial nature baffles me. There are two sets of bleachers on the other side of the kickball field. It's because I'm here, it always has to do with me._

"_No, go to those bleachers over there if you want to sit. But I'm here right now and I don't feel like moving. And stop calling me names, I don't like it." More than my fingers start to shake. I take a few deep breaths, balling my fists until my nails dig into my palms._

"_Whatcha gonna do about it? Go tell the teacher?" The red headed boy grins._

"_No, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." The words escape my mouth before I can register them. The kids are clearly taken back by my words, but they don't feel the weight. They don't know the sickness I feel isn't from anxiety anymore, but from anger building in my chest._

"_No you wouldn't," he scoffed ", you'd get in so much shit. You wouldn't even try it, you fat faggot."_

_My vision blurs around the edges._

_I step down from my spot on the bleachers and leap onto the kid. With my knees on his shoulders, I bring down my fists one after the other. His blood is coating my knuckles and splattering up my wrists. I don't stop… I can't stop. His hands are trying to push me off, but he never had a chance. No one has noticed the outbreak yet. I hadn't figured they would, yard duty doesn't care all too much about what goes on down here._

"When did you stop hitting him?" Hannibal crossed a leg over the other, knuckle poised under his chin.

"When I thought he stopped breathing."

_The other three kids are trying to pull me off him, but I'm finished with him now. I slide back, grabbing the blonde girl and slamming him on top of the boy. I hit her stomach over and over and take my nails to her face, digging them deep into her cheek. I stand and spit in the second girls face, bringing a tight fist to her temple. I kick her in the back as she's down and turn to the final boy._

_I leap on him and grip his throat just tight enough. I start screaming. The next moment, it was all over, someone on yard duty had finally noticed, pulling me off and away from the bloody children. My visions blurred more, and before I could say something was wrong, I passed out._

"My mother wasn't a lawyer, but she worked a government job, so she knew the tricks. At a meeting with the principle and the other parents, she brought up that she has been in the school on thirty seven different occasions because of those four kids who used to make fun of me, and my outburst was a nervous, rage induced break. Said if they tried to sue her or my family for damages, the responsibility would fall on the school for their inability to maintain a healthy mental and physical environment for children. The school ended up paying out of pocket, under the table, for the kid's medical bills and my therapy for four years. They wanted to avoid a public scandal."

Hannibal, who remained attentive and stoic the entire time, let his mouth fall into a small frown. He leans forward and takes a breath.

"I have to ask, Celest… did you feel remorse for what you did?"

"No," My answer is instant and very true", I didn't stop hitting that first kid until I thought he had stopped breathing. I was choking the other boy out with intentions that he would stop breathing. I hit the girl in the temple with fatal intentions. I wanted to puncture the girl's lung with those hits to the stomach. Even though I wasn't there in entirety? A part of me was conscious. I wanted to kill those children." I've said those words out loud, and I thought when I finally did, I'd cry or scream or something. But nothing happened. I honestly couldn't give a shit about those four. They're worthless to me.

Hannibal stood, and walking towards me, he grabs my hands. He pulls me up from my seat and into his warm, familiar embrace. He keeps me close for a moment, large hands placed against my back.

"Thank you for trusting me with your history. Will told me there was something that made you special, I just didn't know it was that deep." I lean back my head, giving him an odd look.

"What do you mean?

"I mean your behavior. You swear, you're easy to anger, yet civilized and beautiful in your set ways. You don't do it blindly, you became who you are systematically. It makes you different and different is very special to me." Hannibal kisses my forehead and I can't help but smile.

"I suppose it is… ever since then, my anger peaks at it gets horrible. After the therapy and we moved, I found a way to keep it tight under wraps. I didn't suppress it, I'd just go into the bathroom and punch a wall. My rage never went away, I don't think I ever wanted to either."

"Because it kept you safe from people like those children who hurt you." He caressed my face, his expression soft and caring. I think I could really get used to seeing his face more often.

"I'm glad you know," I hug him tight, his hands rubbing my back ", now can you tell me why you were so worried earlier?"

"I'd love to, I was going to if you let me come earlier. But I have another patient waiting just outside and I'm never late," He drops his head, placing a gentle kiss upon my lips ", I'll come over after this."

"Bring M and Ms," I smile softly, breaking away from his embrace ", see you soon."

As I leave, I pass a larger looking man who nods at me. I nod back and make my way to my car.

Overall, I feel content. If I learn to relax and take my time, think about what Hannibal is saying, and how I should feel about it? I think everything might be alright.

**Eh. I like the flashback but the ending is awkward. Someday I'll be able to write this story well again.**

**xoxoPN**


	13. One More Time

**So, I took a bit of a break, but I'm back now! Going on a bit of a writing spree today!**

The snow and slush has finally left the ground, the warming sun is out to greet the animals, and in the two weeks since that night with Hannibal? Everything seemed better than normal.

He had come over that night to tell me what he'd been worried about. Turns out one of his patients may have become obsessed with him, and in turn, possibly obsessed with me. He couldn't be sure, but we've been taking the proper measures to make sure we're both safe. If anything comes up as an alarm in a session, he lets me know despite the confidentiality act, because he figures my safety is more important. Of course, to protect the identity of his patient, he never gives me a name. A few times, he's noticed the man and his friend in the same grocery store or restaurant, but we have a system on how to handle it now. More often than not, we spend the nights together, mostly at his place. But I'm alright with that because he cooks every night.

I'm glad I put my own insecurities beside and chose to work this out. He's been helping me with anger, swearing, and irrational thoughts when I interpret things without taking away from who I am. I've been helping him keep an open heart for me, as well as patience, on the nights when my irrational anger is worse than others. It's a work in progress, we haven't been together all that long, but it's one of the best relationships I've had. It's like we should've been together all along. We're meant for each other, I'm pretty sure of it.

"_So, you're coming in an hour, right?" _I heard Hannibal sit across the line, a smile echoing through his voice.

"No, you suck. _Obviously_, I'm coming!" I spoke loud for the speaker phone to hear me as I try, in vain, to pull on stockings. As I listened to his gentle voice, an anxious feeling settling in my stomach. I push it away. Hannibal laughs and I hear material ruffling around. I imagine him lying on the therapeutic couch in his office, where we had spent an hour or so forgetting the world around us.

"_Great. You're going to love where I take you, a dining experience you've never had before."_

"I've never been to dining in the dark before! Does that mean I don't have to dress up? I'm too lazy for that." I hold up the black cocktail dress Hannibal had bought for me. Sure, he had good taste, but it looked awfully tight. I've been in more of a booty shorts and tee-shirt mood lately.

"_You have to dress up," _Hannibal chuckled ", _at least for me?"_

"Fine! Fine, but you need to give up those silk pajamas later. Just your underwear- wait! No. Nothing at all." I laugh, starting to work my makeup onto my face.

"_Deal! I'll meet you outside, side lot."_

"Yep, see you soon!"

"_Not soon enough, darling." _Then the line went dead. I rolled my eyes with a smile, ending the call from my end.

Yeah, we're definitely made for each other. For a guy so uptight, he's more my level and I suppose, for a girl so loose, I'm his level too. We meet somewhere in the happy middle.

I spend the next forty minutes trying to pass the time. I went slowly with the makeup and hair, eventually forced to slip the dress on. I suppose it wasn't so bad; the bottom flared out around my thighs, so at least my legs weren't pinned together. _I mean, I like dresses but I also like sitting like a man. _I thought about calling Will, but he and Alana had taken a vacation of sorts, and I didn't want to interrupt that. So instead I played with different shoes. I chose some black flats, pulled on a shawl, and finally left.

I keep driving along, the anxious feeling still in my stomach. But shit, our dates still make me nervous. He's always so charming and sweet, I feel like I'm going to say something stupid. He'd never chastise me for it, of course. Hannibal just has a way of making me nervous.

Just as I let my mind stray to more pleasant things, like Hannibal being naked as soon as he gets in the door, my cell rings with Hannibal's tone. My brow furrows… he typically wouldn't call me if he knew I was coming over. I feel the anxiety poke and prod at my organs, begging for me to let it in and overtake my senses. But Hannibal always tells me that the chances something are really wrong are low and I should save worry for the immediate emergency. So I set my phone on the dash in the pocket and answer him.

"Hey, Hannibal."

"_Sorry for calling you again, bad time?"_

"Nah, it's fine. Just driving, hands free, on speaker. What's up?" I'm halted a red light and I shake my legs back and forth. I just want to get going and see him.

"_Nothing fatal, so let any worry you have go. I just finished up my last session early… due to unfortunate circumstances." _He seemed exasperated. I could hear the discomfort in his voice, as I so often do, so I offer my ear.

"Circumstances? Like... dangerous ones?"

"_Oh, I don't think so. The man who has been following me? I gave him a referral, I thought it'd be best. He was very upset, he stormed out_." Hannibal's upset, I can tell that much. Maybe he's never had that happen before…

"Oh… that's not good. Do you think he might do something… uh, not so good?"

"_I'm not sure, now. I don't think he'll turn violent but I'm worried for him for other reasons_."

"I'd be worried too. But you have to know you did what's best for you and him. Maybe he'll stop being all over you now?"

"_Perhaps..." _Oh, he's so upset. He just breaks my heart with how passionate he is about helping people.

"You know, him storming out isn't a reflection on you as a therapist. You're wonderful, he's probably just a little hurt right now. I think once he gets all settled in with his referral, it'll all be fine." It's times like these that I recognize how vulnerable he is. He sounds so small and meek on the phone right now, I just want to give him a big hug.

"_Thank you, Celest. I'm glad you… oh, I have to go, there's someone at the door_."

"Alright, I'm ten minutes away. Bye."

He grumbled before hanging up the phone. I felt that heavy feeling in my stomach again, a little strong than before. I start thinking about speeding; all I want to do is see him right now. But I take a few breaths, pushing it aside. This is the kind of thing Hannibal was telling me to control.

'_The chances that something is actually severely wrong are low, save your energy for the real emergency.' _Hannibal's mantra runs through my mind. I feel myself coming down from a possible attack. I keep my knuckles tight around the wheel none the less, making my way to Hannibal's office. As promised, I park in the side driveway, legs shaking back and forth with gentle anxiety.

Eventually, the clock hits the exact time Hannibal should be in my car and he's not out yet. He's always on time. So when the clock changed from two minutes late, to eight, to ten… I felt sick with panic.

Hannibal's mantra be fucking damned, something is off about all of this. I slip off my shawl and toss it in the back before getting out. Locking my car, I look up into the high windows. Nothing looks wrong, but I feel it deep in my bones. I basically crawl into the building, hell-bent on making no noise. I don't hear much from this side of the waiting room, but as I make my way closer, I hear two low male voices. I know that one is Hannibal's, but I've never heard the others. I press my ear closer to the door, trying to make out what's going on.

" … _doesn't have anything to do with this." _That's Hannibal.

"_.. you brought her into it… your fault…" _Now who the fuck is that? I press myself closer, my body flush against the door. It's not a voice I recognize…

"_Hurt her and I'll have to kill you." _I hear Hannibal say that and I'm pretty sure they're talking about me. There isn't anyone else alive he's protective over, other than Will.

"_I was hoping you'd be… partner." _Be his partner? The fuck does that mean?

"_You'd… me caught. Franklin's on… floor. Already, you're attracting attention." _Did he just say 'you'd get me caught'?

"_Then why didn't you kill me… dinner. You could've poisoned me."_

"_I wouldn't… the food."_

There's a pause and I'm pretty fucking confused. Why is someone in there threatening me to Hannibal? Why the fuck is this asshole making Hannibal out to be a killer? Fuck this, I'm calling the cops. I feel down my body for my phone, but I'd left it in the car on top of that fucking safe driving mantel bullshit. This shit couldn't get any more horror movie moment. I go to leave, but I hear Hannibal grunt in pain. Logic abandons me. My car is a minute away, but Hannibal's hurt and he's on the other side of that door.

A hasty step forward and I'm in the room, Hannibal's wrist tangled in a… _the fuck is that?_

"Is that a fucking _cello_ string?" My eyes follow the wire to a black man. He scowls and grins at me all at once. He turns back to Hannibal and kicks him in the stomach, his arm untwining from the string. As I watch Hannibal fall, I feel bile in the back of my throat. It slowly becomes harder to breathe as rage starts to infect my brain.

"Celest, meet Tobias." Hannibal speaks, slow and collect as usual, standing to face me. I see blood seeping from his mouth and I ball my hands into fists so tight that I cut my palms with my nails.

"Fuck you, Tobias! I just wanna know what the fuck is going on!" I try to keep my voice low, but I can't help but yell. This Tobias cunt started to beat the shit out of someone I care about and that shit doesn't fly with me. Hannibal goes to speak, but this asshole interrupts him.

"And you're Celest." Tobias grins, and I can already tell, I hate this mother fucker. Even his voice angers me.

"No shit. Get the fuck out, or I will fucking wreck you." I growl, swinging my hand back against the wall just behind me, putting a hole into it. Tobias seems impressed and starts to swing his cello weapon like a fucking asshole. I grab the vase just on the table beside me, raising an arm to throw it at his face.

The cello string flies and wraps around my wrist and it fucking hurts. I go to pull back, but my wrist starts to bleed. So I drop the vase and run forward instead. Before he can move back, I'm on top of him, knees on his shoulders and interlocking hands pounding into the top of his head. I go to dig my thumbs into his eye sockets, but he throws me off, taking a lunge at me.

I try to crawl and get to Hannibal's desk, but he grabs my legs and drags me back. Flipping me over, he starts to wrap the string around my neck. My arms are under his legs, so I do the next logical thing. As his hand lowers to do another loop around my neck, I bite his thumb hard until I feel it detach in my mouth, and spit it out. His screams are music to me ears, so I go in for another finger.

'_Blood tastes like old world gold.' _Is the last conscious thought that goes through my mind as my vision blurs… then blackens.

**Boy, I sure have been waiting to write this scene.**

**xoxoPN**


	14. Awake

**So, basically, I had a lot of this stuff written. Then I had some major computer problems and now I have to re-write everything so yeah. This might be shitty in comparison because the first was super fucking rad.**

_My mouth is doused with the flavor of old world gold. I become aware of my breath, slowly but surely. One of two things happened… I passed out or blacked out. Oh god, I'm hot. I'm so sweaty… my arms are extra warm and my fingers are searing. I open my eyes, my vision swirling grey against a white, bluring background. I slowly focus… oh shit… _

I come face to face with Tobias' mangled face. His eyes are away from their sockets and his skull caved in, and the best part, his jaw. His jaw was moved at least four inches to the left. I drop my eyes to get away from it, but I'm met with something worse. In a gaping hole, smack in the middle below his ribs, sit my fingers… _that's why they're so hot_. My arms, up to my elbows, are coated in fresh blood. I look around and see what I think are a pancreas, a kidney, and a stream of intestines still coming from the hole.

"Hannibal?" I scream… I think I scream. My throat feels raw; I must have been screaming in the black out. I move my tongue around and taste blood, then feel a fresh cut upon my lower lip; small, yet dangerous. _Yeah… I'd been screaming._

"I'm here, Celest. Don't panic." I don't turn to look at him… I'm entranced by Tobias' body. I did all this in, what I'm guessing, is a short time span. I feel Hannibal's strong arms wrap around me and pull me away from the body, sitting me on the floor. He places towels and a bowl of soapy water between my open legs and then sits across from me. He dabs the towel in the water and starts to clean my arms.

For a while, we don't speak. He seems perfectly content wiping the man's blood from my arms. His lips are just pursed enough to be endearing and the feeling of his hands caressing mine help slow my still-racing heart. As my hands get clean, and are exposed to the air to face what they had done, they grow cold. I want nothing more than for Hannibal to wrap my in his jacket to keep me from freezing. I moisten my lips, ready to start asking the real questions.

"Twelve minutes." He answers the question I was thinking with a low, unthreatening voice. I did _all that_ in twelve minutes… I don't remember anything.

"You blacked out completely. I was worried of stepping in or you know I would have helped you." His smile is gentle and the kiss me lands upon my clean palm genuine. I look away from the red, soapy water and see the large guy on the floor. _I remember him from before…_

"Hey, who killed that guy? I didn't do that." I mumble as I point to the bigger guy across the floor, dressed strangely like Hannibal. _I think I've had that thought before_…

"I did." Hannibal's voice is so cool and collected, per usual.

"Oh… gotta call the police…" A full orchestrated sentence ran through my mind, but my head bobbed forward before I could finish ", I'm gonna be in so much trouble." I start to cry. Unfathomable hysteria typically comes after a black out episode, but I feel Hannibal's gentle motions pull me back to reality; a grim reality, but reality none-the less.

"Hush now," he kissed my knuckles ", no one is getting in any trouble."

"I murdered him, I'm gonna go to jail." Hot tears had already ruined my face, but Hannibal caresses each cheek anyway, looking so devote and caring for me than ever. Looking at him, his deep eyes keep my grounded, and my moving lips put me in a trance.

"No one, especially not you my dear, is going to jail. Everything will be alright. I'll keep you safe." Hannibal, from what Will tells me, has always been charmed with the gift of language. He always knows exactly what to say and how to say it. He's the perfect therapist and the perfect boyfriend. I'm glad I'm here with him doing this, I'd probably have gone hysterical by now.

"I know you were standing outside. I could smell you." I'll never get used to that. He just answers the questions I didn't even have a chance to think about yet.

"Oh, okay." A wave of exhaustion hits me hard. I thought I was going to be alright a few moments ago, but now, I can hardly keep my eyes open.

"You must have heard some things, you were standing there for a long time, Celest."

"Heard him say he wanted you as a partner and something about murder at dinner and… oh god, I'm so tired." I shake my head and groan, setting my chin against my chest. He says something, but I can't hear him over a yawn. I'm swimming in rushing thoughts. He mutters a sweet 'I know' in my ear and keeps working away.

He finally finishes after a really good cleaning job and then walks to the closet. He emerges with his long winter coat, and then picks me up bridal style. I wrap my arms around his neck and yawn, feeling him chuckle against my hip. The way he walks is slow and rhythmic; I find myself enchanted by the motions. If I wasn't tired from the blackout, I would be from his natural movements.

"You look so sweet when you're tired," he kisses my shoulder ", now I'm going to put you in your car in the back seat. You're going to lay down and I suggest you sleep. Blackouts are physically and mentally exhausting and I need you rested for later."

"Whas'later?" I slur as he puts me in, covering me with his warm coat. I pull my knees up, the spacious back seat offering a fairly comfortable medium. My entire body fit under the coat fit for his broad, taught body.

"We're going to my home, I'll make you dinner, then we'll chat about tonight. Now sleep."

"M'kay." I mumble, then drift off to sleep.

**Whoops that was horrible all my fault. I was going to fix it up, but I just had so many computer problems in the last fucking thirty minutes that I'm actually just giving up.**

**xoxoPN**


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